


Home

by littleredlo



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Jefferson and madison will not be in this until far down the line, John IS Gay, M/M, Multi, Other, age gap, alex comes out literally constantly because he has no chill, alex is bi, as teenagers people will have sex so beware, because laf and washington are cute and im trash, by johns shitty father later, eliza is bi, everyone is pining at some point probably, hercules is aromantic pansexual, hercules is important to me, ill tag more as things happen i promise, lafayette is bi, lafayette likes to dress feminine and its great, mentions of sensitive topic often, peggy is going to come out to alex later, racism mentions, they curse constantly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5543930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleredlo/pseuds/littleredlo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander is fifteen when he's emancipated and moves from Puerto Rico to New York City, trying to find somewhere safe, trying to build friendships, trying to grow up. And he does. Meeting John Laurens, Lafayette, and Hercules Mulligan means the start of a family he didn't ever truly have. Coming to stay in a youth boarding house run by George Washington means a home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who They Were

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Hey! So, I went back through and edited a few things in the story that I felt needed to be changed up a bit. Some of this was written in the very early stages of the fandom, and it had some obvious effects on the tropes of this story that make me a bit uncomfortable now. I tried to make it a little less heavy handed at parts. The majority of it is unchanged, and won't have any big effects on the plot, so unless you really want to then it's not necessary to go back and reread everything.
> 
> At any rate, this story hasn't been updated in ages and I know that and am sorry, but I've had a pretty insane writters block along with school stress. It's not abandoned. As of October 2016 I'm going to be working on the next chapter. It may take awhile, but it'll be updated. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you guys enjoy.

Alexander hadn't expected to be here so long, but on his third birthday in George Washington's home, a few weeks into the fall semester at university, he couldn't say he regretted any of it. George wasn't his dad, he'd never call him as much, but he was comfortable and happy for the first time.

The house wasn't an official foster home, just a boarding house for youth that usually only spent a few months. 

Alexander, after his mom died, found himself in and out of places until a friend's father took him in, becoming his official guardian until Alexander decided, after a hurricane destroyed so much of what he knew, that he needed to get out. He needed to get to the main land United States, if he wanted to further his education. His town, his beautiful loving home, helped buy his way out after getting a hold of a poem he’d written and realizing his potential. They helped get him set up for the scholarships he'd need after his high school education came to completion, and he was legally emancipated, officially on his own, as he made his way to New York. 

It wasn't easy for a fifteen year old to find a safe place to stay, until he met Hercules Mulligan. 

 

-

It was the summer, Alexander staying a hotel, and in attending the orientation for tenth grade he happened upon a group of boys all around his age. Hercules and Lafayette were in eleventh grade, sat outside the school's gymnasium waiting for their friend John Laurens. 

When Alexander walked around the outside entrance awkwardly, peaking through the doors to see any open seats, the older boys noticed him. He looked for the older boy he'd been referred to, as Hercules and Lafayette watched.

"Excuse me," he began, approaching a taller boy with his hair shaved short, back to the wall, quietly observing. "Are you Aaron Burr? . . . Sir?" He asked, swearing at himself with the formality still stinging his tongue, wishing to take it back. His mind was chanting a rhythmic slur of expletives at himself. No teenager called other teenagers sir. 

Well, maybe some, but he'd assume those would be much more intimate situations. 

The older boy's mouth quirked up, just a bit, but he was hard to read. "Well, that depends who you are."

"I'm Alexander Hamilton, tenth grade student. I was told to speak with you? I'm starting here this year and I'm meant to be given a run through of the general basics and rules of the school before I head inside. Honestly, I know it's ridiculous, I'm sure I can figure things out, but I don't want to mess up any more before the years even started."

"More?"

". . . I may have gotten in an argument with the school board. See, I grew up in Puerto Rico, and went to school there until this last year, but they asked me to take a placement test, despite my former education. They treated me like I'm stupid. I'm not stupid. I got my way, in the end, just barely." 

"Is that right? Well, you've been to a school before, obviously, like you said." 

"Yes."

"Same basic principles. No phones, you seem aware of the dress code, don't cause trouble, do your work. But really, you know all that. My only real advice to give is just . . . Try to talk less, and smile more."

". . . What?"

"Don't get me wrong. I've got no problems with what you have to say, but if you run your mouth like that again to this school board? You won't graduate." 

"But-"

"I don't mean to argue, Alexander. Just try to to take my word for it." 

Alexander stared, surprised. 

-

While the two talked, Lafayette and Hercules had a conversation of their own.

"Look at this sweet looking boy, Mulligan. He looks so lost. The poor thing. He must need something terribly to be willingly talking to Burr." Lafayette whispered, a hint of teasing in his voice, no honest malice in it. 

"Let the poor kid go, Laf."

"No, no, don't you see? Our dearest Laurens is sitting alone, us unable to get in with the whole," He made air quotes with his fingers, "'Rules’ thing. Cute and short over there will  
be looking for somewhere to sit. It could be good, yes?"

"If you're trying to set John up, Laf- We don't even know-" Hercules began, rolling his eyes with a smile, but Lafayette threw a slender hand over his face, head tilted back, a faux cry of anguish playing on his lips. Hercules sighed at the dramatics.

"I know! I know. But what's the harm? You wound me, Darling. You see the worst only of me, do you? I could cry." Lafayette whisper-shouted, causing the other boy to clamp a hand over his mouth. Hercules repressed a laugh, not wanting to humor the other.

"Oh shut it. Fine. But if this goes south for our boy-" 

"Our boy is not a child. He's able to handle whether he wants to pursue this dear boy or not, he's able to handle whatever comes next if he does or does not." Lafayette assured, pulling Hercules' hand away and grinning down at the other, eyes sparkling. 

They approached Alexander and Aaron, seeing them coming, dropped his head, preparing for the headache.

"Yo! Hey, Kid." Hercules greeted, grinning widely, and Lafayette made his way over and threw his arm over Alexander's shoulders. The younger boy's eyebrows shot up. But he noticed how the taller of the two dressed, noticed the shorts complimenting his legs weren't exactly marketed towards boys, and it made him feel the strangest sense of ease. Maybe it was just the implication of an open mind. 

"Uh, hey."

"You, dear thing, look in need of assistance. Both to find an open spot in that gym, and to get away from our local lame duck." Lafayette smiled, throwing the taunt out and letting Aaron just sigh in reaction. They didn't get along, and they made their jabs at each other, but they were amicable enough none of it was ever taken to heart. Alexander stifled a smile, glancing apologetically at Aaron. 

"What do you have in mind?"

"That's a-boy! Told you he was a good idea, Hercules!" Lafayette celebrated, pulling Alexander along. He looked back at Aaron, raising a hand in an attempt at a wave. The older boy nodded, smiling a bit again, and despite how deeply Alexander could feel they were very different people he couldn't find it in himself to be much more than confused at the other's motives.

"Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, at your service. Please, though, Lafayette is fine." 

" . . . Gilbert?"

"Be kind, dearest thing. This," Lafayette motioned, "Is Hercules Mulligan. And you, Mon amour?"

"Je M'Apelle Alexander Hamilton."

"Oh no, not another one." Hercules groaned, and Lafayette stopped abruptly, turning to Alexander with a giddish look on his face. 

"Tu parle français?"

"Oui!"

"No! This is not happening again. Lafayette if you start this with another-" Lafayette just laughed, cutting Hercules off. 

"Je suis désolé, you see, we have a friend in your grade, and when I discovered he was fluent-"

"They spoke only in French for a week to piss me off." Hercules huffed.

“You accuse such things so often you'd think I were a devil. Do not scare our new friend off so quickly." Alexander watch the exchange, holding back from laughing, but feeling quickly comfortable with the two. 

"I think it would be impossible to scare me off from the first people who've called me friends here all summer." Alexander piped up, and the two looked at him. 

"I think, to be fair though, we can keep the French to the two of us for a bit, if that's alright? I need to get inside soon. Whose this mystery fellow French speaker you're likely to send we toward?" He asked, and the older boys shared a smile, amused he'd picked up on their plan.

"Come." Lafayette said, leading to the gymnasium doors. 

"The one with the curls, in the third row up on the left on his own." Hercules instructed, and Alexander scanned through the bleachers until his eyes feel on the boy in question. He took a moment, looking him over, and swallowed. 

Oh. Oh no. 

"He's-"

"Cute? Yes. Terribly."

"Laf." Hercules scolded, but then went on, "He's smart, a really great kid. You'd have to be the worst person in the world, or his dad, to not get along with him at least a bit. We can't come in, we got banned from underclassmen orientations after, well, an incident. But it'll be good for him to have someone to hang out with whenever we can't be around. John Laurens is a force of nature when he's passionate about something, but I get the vibe you two have that in common." Hercules explained, and Alexander's eyes never left John.

He may have been everything Hercules had said, and maybe he should go over and find out, but Alexander couldn't quite get passed the point Lafayette had made. 

"How'd you just know?" He finally asked, turning to Lafayette. 

"Know?"

"That I'm bisexual or, well, at least not straight." Alexander never shrunk back from an opportunity to out himself casually when meeting people to get it out of the way, even if Lafayette had just been making a joke. At least it was on the table. He felt a surge of relief when the other boys just laughed.

"I hate to assume, but I do think myself a good judge of such things. Plus, even if you weren't, it would still be an empirical fact that our dear Laurens is cute." Lafayette shrugged.

"Well, damn, if we're jumping into this, I'm aromantic, pansexual. Thanks for trusting us with that so quick." Hercules praised, and Alexanders face broke out into a wide smile. 

Alex stared for a long second. Other kids who weren't straight? Holy shit. 

"And as a fellow bisexual, I'd like to welcome you to the club. A literal one, if you find time for it. It's a bit of a mess and half the allies are still thinking they deserve a metal, but it's a start, yes? I'll tell you about it later. Go, meet our cute John."  
Lafayette encouraged, pushing Alexander forward, and he went. He was confident right up until the moment he reached the stairs of the bleachers. 

He took a second, considered walking away, but then the boy look towards him and he swallowed, nodding to himself, and went up.

"Hey. Lafayette and Hercules suggested I sit by you, if you don't mind? I'm new and-"

"Come on." John smiled, patting the seat beside him, and Alexander didn't hesitate. 

"I'm Alexander Hamilton." 

"I'm John Laurens, but I'd guess my friends already told you that. Were they alright to you?" John asked, looking mildly concerned.

"Fantastic. Lafayette is a bit-"

"I know. Wait until you get to know Hercules, though, he's not really Mr. Reserved either. He just tries not to scare new friends off too quickly."

"I'm excited to get to know him, then. Do they normally adopt random guys and dub them friends within the first five minutes, or should I feel honored?"

"Only the cute ones." John smirked, winking, and Alexander almost fell off the bleachers. He felt his face heat up rapidly, and he meant to respond, but the mic in the front of the gym crackled to life as the principal stepped out onto the gym floor and John faced forward, pretending to pay attention, and Alexander was left trying to gain his composure enough to think up something witty to say. 

The orientation lasted nearly an hour, and Alexander felt his patience wearing thin. 

"Girls, we understand the weather is a bit temperamental in the Fall, but we must insist again that tank tops and any bottoms rising higher than two inches above the knee are prohibited.” The principal spoke, condensing voice ringing through the quiet room.

Boos rang out from a small area on the other side of the gym, three girls standing up to lead the noise. Alexander joined them, smiling when he heard John echo him. It wasn't long until the whole gymnasium was roaring.

"Now, now, settle down! It's a necessary for the attention of the boys and men of this school not to be drawn from their work!" The principal went on, and Alexander sneered, joining in with the even louder cries of boos.

Alexander noticed, abruptly, Aaron standing just inside the gym doors, shaking his head, rolling his eyes at the speech, but not saying a thing.

When the outcry among students got louder, the orientation was ended early.

Alexander walked out with John, thoughts of the earlier flirtation lost to him, ranting loudly instead. 

"What absolute fucking bullshit, what is wrong with this asshole?" He shouted, just as the two rejoined with the upperclassmen that had been waiting for them. 

"It's ridiculous! It's fucking hot as fuck out, this school doesn't have proper AC, and these are teenage girls! What kind of society sexualizes women and girls so aggressively their very existence is considered promiscuous? Their skin privilege to assume they owe something sexually and are viewed as such so much they're considered a distraction?! Yo, fuck that!" Alexander shook his head, swearing again, and then suddenly became aware that the whole group had their eyes glued on him. 

"I- Sorry, I just- I get a little loud and overexcited about stuff I'm passionate about, I guess-" He began, suddenly shy and aware he'd went off on a rant within an hour of knowing the only people that had considered him friends so far here. 

Lafayette's brows shot up, face critical, and John laughed, but Hercules decided a more bold action was needed when he lifted Alexander up, tossing him over his shoulder, and started whooping. The other boys joined in, and Alexander laughed, relief sweeping over him like a wave. 

"That's what I'm about, Alexander Hamilton, damn! Let's get this guy in front of people, he oughta teach this school board something!" John encouraged. Alexander felt this was the beginning of something wonderful.

_

It was a week later when Hercules finally asked, having gathered clues from the lack of things Alexander talked about. They were all sitting on a flat of Hercules' roof, his family out of town, sharing a six pack and talking about the future. 

"We're gonna do some shit here, one day. We're going to change things. Even if it's only in this goddamn city, or die trying." John swore, eyes on the stars.

"Yeah. Damn right. This is our world to inherit, and our kids if we have any, and theirs after that. I'll be damned if I don't leave this place better than I found it. We might not see it all, but what's the point of trying to make change if it only benefits you? What's freedom without equality?"

"I'll raise this lovely piss water to that." Lafayette spoke, smiling, and looking less contemplating than the other two. Not as though he weren't searching, but more as though he already had it figured out. The four met their cans in the middle, laughing. 

"I'm going to do something bigger than sewing some fucking pants, I'll tell you that much. My dad, he's a good guy, but I can't take over some tailor shop when theres so many bigger things to help fix. I gotta get up in the world so I can change the world so I can get up in the world without being told I belong at the bottom of it. Ain't gonna be easy, not looking like me, not with people lookin' at me like scary because I don't make myself smaller."

"Okay, Hulk, as if you could if you wanted to." John mused, and Hercules threw his empty can at him, chuckling and shaking his head. 

"Fuck off, curly."

"Get a room, this flirting is too much." Lafayette teased, and John did the full body laugh Alexander had noticed him do before, and the night seemed brighter for a minute. 

"In France-"

"Oh god." 

"Here we go." 

"Ferme-la, shush. In France there were so many revolutions, so many desperate tries for evolution and change. The history is fighting and bloodshed and future found in trying even when it fails time and time again. To bleed where there is already an ocean of blood, to know you're sailing where ships sink more often than survive, it is hard, no? This country is soaked in red for us, blood of boys who look like us used to sign every law that ever made us less. Let us use it to paint a better future." Lafayette said, gently, quietly, but a cheer in his voice as if he weren't taking about death.

"Well, fuck." Hercules said, eyebrows raised. "I'll toast to that too." 

And they did. 

Lafayette and John took leave not long later, John's curfew calling him home and Lafayette wanting to head home before he got to drunk to walk. Hercules was quieter, like he was went they met, whenever he and Alexander were alone.

"Hey, where are you staying?" He asked, after staring thoughtfully for a bit.

"What?"

"Don't play that with me. Come on."

There was a sharp intake of breath.

"How'd you know?"

"John's dad is the definition of emotional abuse, but he still talks about home like a place. You talk about it like an idea. I've met orphans before, Alex." The calm in Hercules' voice, the lack of shock, was a comfort.

"My dad's alive. Probably." Alexander relented, and Hercules shook his head.

"Might as well be dead if you don't know."

"I'm in a hotel. It's nice, safer than other places."

"Move in here. We've got the money, we've got the room." Hercules said, but it was soft enough to sound like a request.

"I can't." Alexander whispered, and Hercules shrugged.

"Why not?"

"Because then the others will know before I'm ready to tell them." Alexander struggled to phrase it. He felt small, drifting between the void and stars above and the warmth of  
someone else’s big home below. He felt like floating was all he could ever be, all he knew how to be. Hercules made him jolt when the other boy's hand landed on his shoulder.

How grounding human touch could be.

"I need you to be safer than "safer than other places", and I'll respect you not wanting the boys to know, so I'm going to recommend you a place and you're going to listen instead of talk for once in your goddamn life, alright, Alex?"

The younger boy drew a breath, sighed heavy, and nodded.

"George Washington, he's a friend of my dad's. He's a good guy, owns a youth boarding house not far from the school. You come and go as you please.You pay for what you eat, you do your laundry, you keep with basic rules, and it's otherwise free. No obligation to stay. No reason to need to tell our boys about everything yet. He's always got a spare room set aside for a recommendation of a friend, so no worry about it being full. I'll call him tomorrow and you'll meet me over here at noon to go check it out. Got me?" Hercules explained, and Alexander felt critical, but he wasn't going to throw away a shot at somewhere decent for free and a promise his other friends wouldn't know.

"Yeah, alright. I got you." 

 

-

It was cool in the entrance way to the house when the man in his early thirties invited the two boys in. It was an odd kind of comfortable, seeming too big and open to be quite cozy but with an air of relaxed lived in homeyness. 

The floors and wide stair-case were wooden, windows open and large with thin white curtains that billowed in the breeze. A young woman boarding in the home with an infant sat in the foyer reading, connected by an open archway to the room they stood in, and Alexander felt a knot in him chest. He'd been expecting the worst, but the house was beautiful, and when George Washington gave the barely-there smile he did it was so far from the dangerous leers of hotel and motel clerks that the expected proceeding tour felt pointless. 

He wanted this. Even if it was temporary, even if everything was.

"It's nice to see you again, Hercules. I hope your family is well. This must be Alexander Hamilton, if I'm not mistaking the name?" George asked, offering a hand, and Alexander shook it with renewed confidence.

"Hello, Sir. Yes, Alexander." He was brief, trying to seem more mature than his more long winded introductions would allow if he got on a roll. 

"George Washington. George is fine, if you're comfortable with it. Can I ask," He began, and Alexander prepared for the worst. "Do you use male pronouns?"  
Alexander, for once, found himself speechless. 

"Male, yeah. He and him." Hercules supplied, in sudden absence of Alexander's voice. He just nodded mutely. George raised an eyebrow. 

"I run a youth boarding house in New York city, Alexander, and I have an internet connection. I do my best to abstain from ignorance. I apologize for startling you, but I try to make habit of asking. I want everyone here to feel safe. Come on, I'll give you the tour."

With every passing clean, warm feeling, comfortable, room and the explanation of the most simple and logical rules Alexander had ever known, the idea the tour was unnecessary was proven fact. If Alexander was better at being honest with himself, he may even say that he'd been convinced before even stepping on the front door step, but he wasn't so, he insisted it was the feeling of the place. No desperation for safety included.

"So, what do you think?"

"That it would be nice to stay."

"Then stay." George said, like it was easy, because maybe he knew it was. It took a moment for Alexander to feel confident in his reply, not for fear of doing so but for fear of admitting he would. 

"Okay. I've got to get my stuff from where I was staying." Alexander agreed, and the older man nodded. No pressure. No fear. No danger. 

Hercules had waited at the base of the stairs and didn't ask anything, didn't ask if Alexander had decided to stay, but just led out to his car, bidding George a friendly goodbye on the way. He waited for Alexander to tell him something, talking about how, "Goddamn hot, what the hell?" it was as they got in the car.

"It's nice. I'm going to give it a month, see how it works out." Alexander said, passively, and Hercules shot him a smile. 

"Then let's get your shit and move you out of that hotel." 

-

By evening Alexander was laying in a warm bed, fan on the floor beside his bed, window wide open aside from the screen to keep out any flies, head dipping with the heavy of sleep while he read. The wooden floors and wooden dresser and wooden bedside table and wooden bed frame all looked shiny and warm under the yellows and pinks of a downing sun, the dark blue bed sheets and pillows feeling cool enough the warmth drifting in from the day was perfect. 

Alexander drifted off to sleep. He didn't dream of hurricanes, or fevers, or floating.

He dreamed of the future and friends and bloodless revolution. He felt, for the first time since landing in the city, at home.


	2. Beach and Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, before I hurry things along into their high school years, I wanted to give the boys a little time to be young. They visit New Jersey and plan to spend a few nights at the shore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a character building chapter, a bit enormous, and mostly fluff with a bit of angst at the end. It should be noted this is largely based on my own vacation to New Jersey when I was fifteen, and that because this is a chapter taking place when they are younger it is placed a few years ago. The Steel Pier, I believe, is actually no longer running due to hurricane Sandy, unfortunately. Please leave comments, I love hearing from you guys and want to always make sure you think my characterisation is okay and the pace is alright. I will probably be speeding things up next chapter so we can move onto high school.

After Alexander met John, Lafayette, and Hercules the summer was fast paced from then on, days passing quickly.

"Let's go to New Jersey, to the beach." John proposed one day. They were sat in the playground of a park the was a middle ground between all their homes. The sun was beating down on the plastic of the slides and swings, so the four took shelter in a covered part of the jungle gym, squished shoulder to shoulder in the space too small for them. 

"What?" Alexander laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"Come on, it'll be fun. I can tell my dad I'm spending a few nights over Hercules' house, he won't even notice I'm gone. I can afford to get us a hotel on the boardwalk and there are buses that are only like thirty dollars a person round trip. " John insisted, casually, like he wasn't talking about running off to another state without his father's knowing. It wasn't a terrible plan though, Lafayette's grandparents very lenient and Hercules' parents very trusting, and Alexander would have no trouble. There was a moments pause.

"You know what? Alright. I'm in." Alexander spoke up, shrugging.

"I'll talk to my parents about it tonight. It does sound fun, I haven't got to swim in forever, and with how fucking hot it is? Yeah." Hercules agreed, so all eyes fell on Lafayette, who nodded.

"I'll see."

________

So that night Alexander sat in his bedroom, working on a piece of fiction he'd been trying to put together, when George knocked. Within the first week of being in the house he'd discovered the "pay for what you eat" rule didn't apply when it came to dinner.

"Come in."

"Hey, coming down? You've not ate with us in two days."

"I know, sorry, I have a habit of getting wrapped up in stuff and forgetting to eat."

"Forgetting?"

"Yeah, I mean, if I get hungry enough I'll grab something but growing up I didn't always have the whole three meal thing. My mom did her best, but it was hard, and I never really had much of an appetite to begin with so I can go a while without my body really noticing."

"That's mildly concerning." George said, eyebrows up, and Alexander shrugged. 

"I'll survive. Don't worry, I'll be down in a minute, but I meant to tel- ask you something. Me and a few of my friends are thinking about heading to the shore in Jersey for a few days, probably three nights, and I wanted to make sure you knew so you'd not worry." Alexander explained, and George nodded.

"Hercules going?"

"Yeah. Me, him, our friends John and Lafayette."

"Do you need help booking anything? I don't like the idea of four teenagers heading to another state without an adult, but I've got no real say in it if their parents agree. Least I could do is make sure you're safe."

"John's got it, he's gone before with his dad and can afford a room we'd all share in a nicer place. It's on the boardwalk and everything is casinos, so nothings going to be perfect, but I think we'll be alright and stay out of trouble." Alexander assured, a bit surprised how concerned George was.

"Alright, just be safe. Do you think you'd mind giving me a call once in awhile or shooting a text so I know you're still alive? I'd hate to hold an unoccupied room." The request was lighthearted, a joke, but laced with genuine interest in Alexander's safety that it struck a nerve.

"Yeah, sure. No problem." Alex agreed, finally putting his laptop aside and getting up to head with George down to the dinning room. 

There weren't many others in the house at the moment, an older girl Alexander guessed to be around eighteen was staying with her young toddler but they didn't come to meals often. There were three other teens, all a little bit older, and none of them talked to Alexander really. Everyone was polite enough, but it seemed like they were trying to keep from connection. When there was only one other boy at the table Alexander wasn't surprised.

"So, Alex, what do you want to do after high school?" George asked, trying to fill the silence. 

"Law school. I've got a scholarship set up. I have to maintain my grades and I'll probably need to apply for financial aid to help pay for housing, but hopefully I'm set."

"Why law?"

"Because I really love paper work." Alexander joked and George smiled. The other boy at the table laughed. "I don't know. It just feels right, I guess. It's a way to make a difference." He shrugged, going back to eating. George nodded, and the silence resumed, but was a little less overbearing than before. 

 

_____

 

Alexander went back upstairs after finishing dinner and helping do dishes. Collapsing into bed, he pulled his laptop back to him and went on Skype. He looked at the group chat they four had, and raised an eyebrow at Hercules' new screen name. 

Alsex The Short  
"Herc . . . Horse Fucker . . ?"

J-Lo  
"Hes dinnering. today someone decided to ask him if pansexual means hes into animals. he said he fucks horses and its been embraced by the student population"

Alsex The Short  
"Beautiful."

SuckTheLafayetteBaguette  
"Truly  
ALEX ARE YOU ABLE TO COME TO THE BEACH?"

Alsex The Great  
"DAMN RIGHT I AM  
ARE YOU?"

SuckTheLafayetteBaguette  
"WE ARE ALL ALLOWED (BESIDES JOYN BECAUSE HES A SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT)  
WE'RE GOING WOO."

J-Lo  
"joyn"

Alsex The Great  
"Joyn Layerns"

Horse Fucker  
"Joyn Lay~ erns."

Alsex The Great  
"HERCULES!  
And o hey we found johns stripper name"

Horse Fucker  
"ALEX!  
WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH"

SuckTheLafayetteBaguette  
"f u all  
WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH"

J-Lo  
"My stripper name is Cinnamon, thank you very much  
WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH"

Alsex The Great  
"more like sinnamon  
WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH"

________

 

And, so, they went to the beach.  
John arranged the hotel and bus trip. He registered as his father at a place on the boardwalk he'd gone before, knowing nobody would ask for ID if they send Hercules into the lobby to pay, looking the oldest of them all. So long as they didn't break anything or try to gamble or drink nobody would care.  
They met up in the morning, bags packed, at Hercules' house and piled in his car. His parents would pick his car up later, so they went to and parked at the bus terminal, getting on quietly when their charter was ready, all exhausted. Alexander and John sat together in the row behind Lafayette and Hercules and settled in.

Alex closed his eyes almost immediately, trying to keep the sun out, having gotten the window seat and instantly regretting it. When the still rising sun didn't yield much to his eyelids he sighed, lolling his head to face away before opening them again, startled a bit to see eyes staring back at him. John had laid back, a hoodie draped over him, and was looking at Alexander. The sight of tired John Laurens, nuzzled up in a hoodie like it were a blanket, yawning like an actual kitten, did irregular things to Alexander's heart, skipping a beat or three when John smiled. They'd known each other just over a month now and Alexander couldn't help that this boy was the most important person he ever met. 

"Aren't you going to sleep, Alex? You look exhausted."

"Maybe, once we get rolling. You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

"Not a wink. It's not really, uh, a good idea to lie to my dad. But it's not a good idea to listen to him all the time either, because if I had I'd of never known Hercules and Laf." John shrugged. 

"I'm going to kick his ass one day." Alexander said it like a promise because it was one, just hearing stories of Henry Laurens made his blood boil.

"You'd kick the entire world's ass if you could. Probably including your own."

"Who says I can't? It's one of my goals. But I'd not kick everyone's ass."

"Oh yeah? Who's ass would remain unkicked?"

"Yours." Alexander grinned and John laughed, rolling his head back to look at the bus' rounded ceiling.

"You know, you're right. Who says you can't? I support your endeavor fully, but only if you don't include your own ass in this global asskicking."

"We're both too tired to be having a conversation." Alexander said, an outright giggle bubbling out of him in reflection of the topic at hand. John remained the playful serious he'd been before.

"Please, we're going to probably pull at least an all nighter these next three days, we'll talk about too tired then. Come on, promise? No kicking your own ass or I'll have to kick your ass for kicking your ass and then I'd have to kick my own ass."

"And then I'd have to kick your ass for kicking your ass and then I'd just need to kick my own ass again."

"Exactly. Never ending cycle of asskicking."

"Okay literally every other word I've heard from back there has been ass and I feel very left out." Lafayette chimed in, turning around, and Alexander and John broke into a bit of a laughing fit, trying to explain.

"While I'm down with the ass part, the kicking seems a bit excessive. I'm a lover, not a fighter." Hercules teased, looking back over his seat too now. Lafayette shook his head.

"Dearest boys, I'm going to sleep, please keep the asses at bay until I awake." He said, laughing a bit with the others when they did, turning back in his seat and pulling Hercules with him. Alexander peeked over and saw Lafayette had opted to lean on Hercules shoulder, Hercules arm around the him, letting hide his face from the sun. 

The coziness of the boys with each other was not lost on Alexander since he'd met the three, always casual touching, always loud words and gentle hands. He'd not been excluded, finding himself being hugged almost daily for the first time since he was a small child. Nothing ever was awkward, nothing was approached as if quiet affection would led to anything else or had to not. It was comfortable, and he was so glad to have been found by them. He sat back, looking over at John again, and smiled.

"Hi again."

"We didn't go anywhere. The bus hasn't even went anywhere yet." John reminded, smiling back all the same.

"I know. I dunno. Can I lay on you?"  
Alexander asked and John instantly opened his arms, nodding, pulling his hoodie up.

"Come 'er." 

So Alex did, leaning over, tucking his feet up on his chair, head resting somewhere between shoulder and chest. The hoodie was draped over him, tucking his upper half in a bit. Suddenly, the sun being bright didn't bother Alexander so much. John put in ear buds, leaning back in his seat a bit more but with arms still firm around

Alexander, and he could feel John humming along with whatever he was listening to as he drifted off.

________

The bus hit a red light an hour later, shifting John roughly, him having fallen asleep as well. Alexander was nearly thrown into the back of Lafayette's seat, John arms wrapping around him just in time on instinct. Alexander woke up with a jolt, whining.

"Sorry." John said, pulling the ear buds from his ears, squinting down as Alexander peaked up at him.

"Damn bus." He said, burying his face in John's chest a moment before sitting back in his seat, stretching. 

There was a mutter of French swears from the seat ahead of them and Lafayette's hair appeared back above his seat, sitting up himself. He looked back at John and Alexander. 

"I hate buses." 

The four stayed awake the rest of the ride, talking in quiet voices about what they wanted to do, and playing ispy. 

At one point things feel into quiet and Alexander moved to stare out the window, taking in the view. It was meant to be rainy until noon, but when the morning had been so clear Alexander had expected the forcast to be wrong, but now clouds were gathering overhead and it made the landscape look gorgeous. 

He'd never lived near mountains like this, his town flat and the city flat but now they were rolling through valleys, moutains seeming to meet the clouds with the mist hiding their peaks. It was gorgeous and he felt a little like he was in a movie.

"You look like you're in love." John teased, catching his expression in the reflection of the window. 

"I am. I'm going to marry a mountain." Alexander said, tearing his gaze away to smile at John.

"I used to live in South Carolina. When we moved to the city I was scared of flying, so my dad had me drove. We went through the most beautiful places and I was so nervous talking to the driver, so I just stared out the window the whole time. One day I should take you on the drive, show you. It's incredible." John offered, looking past Alexander and out the window. Alexander nodded.

"I'd love to. Maybe then one day I can show you where I grew up. You'd love the sunrise, over the ocean. It's not like it is here, or anywhere, maybe." 

"Yeah. That would be great." John agreed, finally looking back at Alexander and smiling. It felt like something private, Alexander realized abruptly. Plans made between just the two of them. The thought made him smile back.

_____

 

When the bus finally stopped, parking outside a parking garage just along the boardwalk, the boys filed out, Lafayette pratically bouncing. 

"What, don't go to the beach often?" Alexander asked as they got their suitcases from the driver, who'd opened the storage hold compartment outside the bus for the passengers. They double checked they had everything and started off to the boardwalk. 

"I do, I just am excited to be here with my best of boys." Lafayette said, throwing an arm over Hercules and another over John. John threw his own over Alexander. 

"This is gonna be fun, just so we don't get kicked out of shit. Are we able to check into the hotel yet? I want to get this crap away so we can swim." Hercules asked, gazing out to the beach when they walked along the polished wooden blanks of the boardwalk.

Their hotel was in sight not far down, almost right across from a ramp down to the sand. It was cleaner than Alexander expected the beach to be, and their hotel was towering, balconies colored with drying towels and tanning bodies, people seeming to be everywhere. Every store they past by had the type of five dollar tee marked to ten dollars one would expect, souvenirs, sun dresses hanging in windows, beach towels and toys and body boards. None of the windows had closing times.

"We can check in now, yeah, I booked with an early check in. I'll give you the cash when we're inside, don't want to get robbed out here." John said, almost joking on the last note but not quite. Alexander held his suitcase handle a little tighter despite himself. He'd never owned much, and what he had he held tight to. 

The day was warming up, but the morning wasn't blistering as it would be by noon, so they shock of the air conditioned large lobby didn't do much to relieve so much as make Alexander shiver. John sat to get his cash out of a zipper in his suitcase and he double counted the amount before handing it over with a receipt for the booking to Hercules. He looked a bit nervous, really, but Alexander reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Think adult. Taxes. Unhappy marriage. Child bearing. Watching golf for fun." Alexander encouraged and Hercules laughed, lightly smacking his hand off and flipping him off as he went over to the counter around the corner. Hercules was a little less tense, though, so Alexander considered it a success. 

"I watch golf for fun." Lafayette protested a few moments later, making John and Alexander almost double over laughing at the defensive tone of voice he used.

"Laf, you watch older handsome wealthy men in beige slacks and sweater vests for fun, not golf." John pointed out and Lafayette pouted.

"I'm just sophisticated." He defended, but his pout was exaggerated and quirking up like he was repressing a grin.

"Is that what they call horny these days?" Hercules asked, coming back over and startling the three. Lafayette laughed, finally. 

"You're all cruel. I take back what I said." He managed between a fit of laughter. 

"Sure you do, Dear." John said dismissively and turned to Hercules. "Everything okay with checking in?"

"Yep. I got two keys, so we can't split up too much but I don't think we really want to, so." Hercules shrugged, handing the key cards over to John along with the change.

"Right, well, let's go see our room." John smiled, leading the way to the elevators.  
"Everyone okay with the whole one bed thing still? We could send for a cot." He offered. 

"And deny us right to cuddle and sleep in a pile on the floor at some point? Not in a million years." Lafayette laughed.

"Please, like any of you would turn down sleeping with me." Hercules joked, winking, and John pretended to swoon, falling backwards into Alexander who laughed and caught him, mocking fanning him with a hand.

"It's true, how could anyone deny the Laf cuddling or Hercules bedsharing?" Alexander asked, John shifting his weight and standing up again, the four laughing as the elevator came to their floor. 

John found their room and built up anticipation by failing to swipe the key card right four times before Alexander took it from him and did it himself, the other's cheering when he got it on his first try. John shushed them, feigning and indignant frown as they opened the door and headed in the room.

It wasn't huge, but it was big enough to spread out on the floor between the bed and window if they wanted to. The TV sitting on the stand across from the bed was big and a mini fridge hummed along side the dresser. There was a door out to a balcony, faced towards the ocean, and Alexander didn't hesitate to drop his case in the corner near a small lounge chair and hurry out. It wasn't huge, but when the other three boys followed his lead they all fit comfortably. Alexander hadn't ever been in a hotel like this with a balcony before. It was a bit breathtaking.

"You didn't say we had a balcony." Alexander said, turning to John, trying to disguise his excitement. 

"Surprise." He shrugged, smiling and keeping his eyes over the view. 

"I've never-" Alexander began, but felt a tug of embarrassment, knowing that that with John and Lafayette's wealth this is probably on of the more shabby hotels they'd ever stayed in.

"Me either. We always stay with family on vacations." Hercules said, noticing the hesitation, and Alexander grinned in thanks. John pinked a bit, almost hard to see between his freckles and darker skin.

"Dad never let us get a room with a balcony before. I figured, I don't know, maybe it could be our little thing?" John said and Hercules put an arm around him, pulling him into the older boys side.

"Sap." Hercules teased, and Alexander ruffled John's hair with a grin.

"While I'm not losing my balcony virginity," Lafayette began, moving to lean into then other boys. "That sounds excellent, John." 

"Losing balcony virginity sound like an interested sight." 

"Not fucking on the balcony, Hercules." John said, grinning.

"But-"

"No. Alright, enough. The rain is gone, the day is young, lets go swim." John decided, and it became a mad dash back into the room, shifting through suitcases for bathing suits. 

_____

Hercules carried the backpack with all their sunscreen and towels packed inside, John carrying a blanket he'd brought to lay out on the beach. It was still early enough the beach wasn't too crowded, them finding a spot easily enough. Once set up it began the test of who would check the water first, all four going to the water's edge, Alexander finally stepping in the tide so it washed over his feet and he whined.

"It's cold. Fuck. Vacation over, that's it, let's go camp in the hotel. They have a pool, right?"

"You're big babies." Hercules rolled his eyes, moving to stand beside Alexander, but the second the water touched him he gripped Alexander's shoulder to steady himself as he jumped away with a shout. Which leaded them to both fall into the sand, laughing.

John dipped a toe in and wrapped his arms around himself like it had chilled the rest of him, shaking his head solemnly and dropping to sit with the boy in the sand.

"We can make sand castles." He offered, and Lafayette just looked at the three with exasperation. He looked at the water, back at the boys, and up at the sky as if seeking help from a higher power.

"Merde." He muttered, and then rushed straight into the water, jumping into an incoming wave, sinking to his knees when the swell moved away to not stand in the wind. He shouted out a string of swears, wiping the salt water from his eyes to peer at the friends now standing and whooping in the beach. He was freezing, shivering, but when he jumped into another wave it was too fun to matter.

"Laf, you're fucking crazy." Hercules shouted, and Lafayette gave a broad smile and thumbs up. Alexander shrugged and surged forward, rushing into the cold and joining him.

"I'm going to get hypothermia and die." He whined, but followed as Lafayette waded in deeper, jumping in time with the waves. 

"Come on guys!" Alexander shouted and Hercules and John shared a pained look. 

"They're lucky we love them." John huffed, and Hercules nodded, taking each other's hands as they moved into the water, swearing up a storm that made them all thankful no young kids were sat on the shore. 

"Fucking fuck, fuck me." Hercules swore, the four finally meeting up in the water, all able to stand in the tide and jumping into each wave as they came. 

"In the middle of the water? If you insist." Alexander grinned and Hercules leap at him, arms around his neck, bigger size easily pushing Alexander into the water as he laughed, Hercules mimicking kissing and moaning noises with his mouth until they fell under the water. 

Lafayette and John replicated the scene, noticing an older couple watching them from the beach, looking scandalized. They emerged, coughing water before switching to John and Lafayette playing, Lafayette picking John's smaller frame into his arms and talking rapidly in breathy, moaning French. About how to repair a broken screen door lock. John buried his head in Lafayette's shoulder to hide his laughter, electing a real squeak from Lafayette when he nipped skin and they fell into the surf laughing. 

Hercules had Alexander sat on his back, swimming under the waves while Alexander was above them. Then Hercules knocked into the other two boys and sat up to get air, Alexander tipping back abruptly, getting a face full of sea water, falling off then. Alexander splashed his way to stand again, John pulling him up with an arm around his waist. 

When he got his footing he looked at the other boy, his hair curling more wildly all the way to the roots, soaked through and darker. The day was warmer now, the water not as cold as it had been, and Alexander felt himself heat up too when he got caught by Lafayette sneaking a glance at John's chest. The sight of soaking wet, shirtless John Laurens was almost worth the embarrassment, though. Lafayette didn't say a word, instead just jumping at Hercules, surprising him with a surge of love bites to his neck.

"You little shit." Hercules managed before being forced backward into an incoming wave. 

John, as Alexander assumed Lafayette expected, took no time to rejoin the fun, turning to face Alexander face on and the one lingering hand on his waist turned into two, latching on and holding him still. John didn't move, feeling a wave creeping up behind him, and kept Alexander so he couldn't either, both being swept under, arms around each other in play wrestling, pushing and pulling each other in and out of the water. The John's hand caught Alexander's side and he broke into a giggle, paling when he realized the Pandora's box he opened as John froze, a grin growing on his features. 

"Yo! Alex is ticklish!" He shouted to the other boys, who froze in their own play fight and looked over. They didn't take more than a moment to corner Alexander, him torn between mild terror and amusement, Hercules restraining him as the other two went wild, tickling his sides, making him erupt into gasps of laughing fits.

"Stop! Oh my god." He laughed, kicking and trying to tear his arms away. He knew if he meant it, really meant it, they'd stop, but he was having fun still.

They finally let him go a near minute later, the four all collapsing into the water laughing. The play was exhausting, and they all lugged themselves back to shore shivering as they emerged from the water. They laid out on the blanket, thankful for it's size, toweling off and relaxing into the sun.

Lafayette sat at the edge if the towel, legs covered in sand sticking to wet skin as he played with in it, digging for seashells and making the hole he managed int a moat for a castle he worked on. Hercules just stretched out soaking in the sun. John sat looking at people around them on the beach, at the water, back at the boardwalk. Alexander curled into his towel to warm up and hide his sensitive eyes from the sun. Warmed up a bit on, he uncurled, stretching out. He yawned and laid his towel under his head. His eyes were shut tight.

John leaned over, looking at him, causing a shadow over his eyelids, and he peaked up through one to look back.

"Tired?" John asked. Alexander nodded.

"A little." 

John laid back next to him. "Me too." He agreed, so they closed their eyes for awhile.

They didn't properly fall asleep, too much noise around them, the motion on the blanket as Hercules moved to help Lafayette build his palace, but they relaxed enough that when Alexander sat up and John followed suit they felt rested. They joined in the building effort. 

"We do you guys want to swim more or should we go get lunch? It's almost noon." Hercules offered awhile later and John's stomach growled as if for effect. They laughed, moving without word to pack things up. Lafayette grabbed his camera from Hercules' backpack, taking a shot of their lopsided sandcastle, and getting pictures of at the other boys. Hercules took it off him and took one of him. 

 

____

 

They headed up to the hotel, putting away their sandy stuff, getting money and shirts to head to some kind of food joint along the boardwalk. Lafayette kept his camera strapped to his wrist as they went out.

It was getting hot now noon had nearly arrived, and so when they found their way into a small fry and burger joint with air conditioning Alexander could've thanked ever deity he knew the name of.  
They ordered and sat in a booth in the back, Alexander chugging almost the entire bottle of water he'd bought in on gulp. They planned to get a taxi after lunch to the nearest Walmart, to stock up their mini fridge without having to spend the five dollars it was for a water bottle in most shops. 

"I've been to five star restaurants in France," Lafayette began, sounding so disgusted at his own wealth the other's just laughed. "But nothing on earth is better than boardwalk fries." 

Alexander had settled on a burger alone, so he reached out and stole one of Lafayette's, and the second he tasted it he sighed in satisfaction, leaning back in his seat. If there was ever a notion he could agree with, that was it.

"Oh. Yes. That is an empirical fact." He nodded, and the others laughed.

"Have you not had boardwalk fries before?" John asked, sounding scandalized. 

"Not before that, but I can survive without." Alexander laughed, but John shook his head, getting up and going for the counter. Alexander chased him.

"No, wait, hey. If I want it I can buy it."

"I know, but you're stubborn so you won't, so I'm not giving you a choice." John grinned. "Come on. This is our thing, this vacation, for all of us. I want you to have memorable experiences and have the most fun ever before we go to school in two weeks and it gets cold."

"I feel bad enough about not chipping in for everything else, John. I'm having fun, but let me buy my own food." Alexander insisted, and John sighed. 

"Fine, but only because you're cute when you're being pouty." He teased, and Alexander hoped the way his breath hitched at that wasn't visable.

"Yeah? I should pout more then." Alexander shot back and John raised an eyebrow, stepping towards him, his expression still alight with amusement but more serious. 

"Nah. No need." 

"Why?" 

"Because you look even cuter smiling." John said as he stopped walking just inches from Alexander before brushing past and heading back to the table. Alexander was frozen a moment, biting his lip, wondering how he was outflirted constantly and how much of it was sincere. He went to the counter, got the fries, and slid back in next to John.

"You know what's cute?" Alexander asked, looking at John and wiggling and eyebrow. John laughed at the sight.

"What?"

"Sharing fries with a cute boy." He said, moving the fry to the space between them. "That burger was half the size of my head. I'm not going to finish all these." 

"Did this morph into a date? Are we the hot background wingmen for a sudden romantic comedy?" Lafayette teased. Upon noticing that Alexander was blushing Hercules just reached across the table and stole a fry. 

"This must be the cutest thing in the world, because you're now sharing with two cute boys. Lafayette reached over and took his own.

"Make that three cute boys."

"I hate you all." Alexander said, laughing and pulling his fries back toward himself protectively, only allowing them in the middle of the table once he finish all he could eat. The other boys descended like vultures. 

______

The taxi ride was awkward, the driver an older man who kept muttering under his breath. Alexander hated taxis, always worried about how legitimate they were, how safe. Nobody seemed comfortable talking, so Alexander busied himself on his phone, decided to text George that they'd made it safe. He responded quickly, thanking Alexander for telling him and asking for him to stay safe. With the driving muttering getting louder and his speed increasing as he swerved through traffic Alexander felt like that wasn't a promise he could currently make. If it had seemed spurred on by mental illness Alexander wouldn't let himself get irritated, but the man seemed more in mindset of anger.

"Yo, can you slow down, please? I want to get where we're going safely." He finally spoke up, his hand squeezing his leg 

Alexander nearly fell into the seat in front of him, Hercules sitting between the two Alexander and John, throwing his arms out to catch them both, he and Lafayette thankfully wearing their seat belts when the driver threw on his breaks. 

"What?" The driver shouted.

"The fuck do you think you're doing, man?" Hercules spoke up, deliberately lowering his voice. "You could've hurt someone. I don't give a shit what your problem is, but you don't drive like a fucking maniac while on the job, especially with teenage passengers. You're lucky Alex warned you rather than just calling the police."

"Who the hell do you think-"

"Paying customers whom you just put at risk of injury, as well as fellow drivers." John spoke up. "Which I have, along with the majority of this drive, recorded. Now, I think perhaps you should drive us to our location, safely and responsibly, and then go on to your next job. Maybe apologize." 

"Fuck yourself." The driver spat, but began. driving again. Alexander pulled out his phone to keep track of the route they were on and be sure they were headed to the Walmart. He and John both buckled their seat belts. The driver slowed down exponentially, being more cautious.

There was a long lull of quiet, before with an edge of reluctance the driver spoke again.  
"Is everyone okay?"

"We're fine." Alexander nodded. 

"I've had a fucked day." The driver sighed, voice less aggressive. 

"We could figure. Please don't take it out on us, though. I hope it gets better." Lafayette said politely, but there was something sharp in his voice and movements Alexander had never seen before. It made him shiver.

"I didn't mean to. I know you guys are young and taxi drives are tense enough. I'm sorry." The driver finally relented, sighing heavily. 

Alexander could have a quick temper but he didn't make it a tendency to keep a grudge on strangers without knowing their whole story, and while it couldn't be excused or allowed so long as all his friends were okay it could be forgiven.

"It's fine." Alexander dismissed and the man seemed a bit surprised. The rest of the ride was quiet.

Once the taxi arrived at the Walmart there was a scramble to pay the driver and hurry out, John having the number for a taxi company in his phone for when they were done. Lafayette payed and the man reached over to shake his hand when he saw the amount, the two talking for a moment. 

"What's that about?" John asked when Lafayette met them at the door. 

"I gave a little extra in exchange for a promise of his care and caution for the next customer. Maybe it will bring up his fucked day."

"You shouldn't have felt like you had to do that." Hercules sighed, putting an arm around Lafayette. They went inside, trying to shake off the tension left after the ride.

"What do we need?" Alexander asked, grabbing a cart. 

"We should get a case of water and some snacks." John offered, shrugging, and they went off trying to find everything. 

_____

Alexander couldn't help but feel bored. He always hated food shopping, and doing so on a mini-vacation felt tedious. Really, nobody could blame him when he hopping up on the cart and rode it down empty isles. The other boys didn't scold him, just laughed, encouraging him to crawl in the carriage and let Hercules push it around, careful to not be caught as they ran through isles. 

Then an employee stepped into their path, while they were walking thankfully, and raised an eyebrow at Alexander sitting in the cart with a case of bottled water and a few bags of chips sat in his lap. She was young, hands poised on her hips and lip quirking up despite herself.

"Sir, I'm afraid, unless you're buying this person or he is secretly your small child disguised as an adult, I must ask him to leave the cart." She addressed Hercules and he stifled a laugh. 

"Well," John started. "He's small enough for the second one." 

Alexander reached out and hit John as Hercules easily lifted him out of the cart. The woman just laughed and left the isle.

"So," Hercules smiled, Alexander shooting him a warning look he ignored. "Son, do we have everything?"

Alexander pointed ignored him, keeping a smile at bay, and John looked through the cart and nodded.

Alexander cast a look at Hercules, crossing his arms. "You're not my real dad."

 

_______

 

They returned to the hotel uneventfully, the taxi on the way back being driven by an old man who couldn't manage much about twenty miles per hour if he tried, making pleasant conversation. He got the same tip the last driver did, Lafayette decided, to be fair. Alexander felt uncomfortable, vaguely, for all the other's were buying, but he tried not to let it eat at him.

"We should check out the pool." Lafayette decided as they arrived back in their room, putting away the water and sitting on the bed. The others nodded in agreement, Hercules grabbing the backpack with their towels again as they head out, letting John lead as he'd been here before.

"It's nice, heated pool and air conditioned room. Plus there's a hot tub, but nobody under sixteen is meant to go in." John explained, and when they entered the pool room it was occupied by four families, all with younger kids, in the shallow end that was far enough off in the long curved pool that the boys expected not to disrupt them.

"Do you need floaties, son?" Hercules teased Alexander, and the latter sighed, rolling his eyes. 

"Herc, please, keep your kinks to yourself. This is a public swimming area." Alexander mock scolded in a whisper, putting his phone down on a table between chairs, pulling his shirt off. Hercules' face scrunched up, reaching out to push Alexander into the pool as the approached the edge. 

He emerged sputtering, laughing, and the other boys jumped in too. Alexander grabbed hold of Hercules, trying to dunk him, but the older stood without moving with ease. The other two latched onto him, trying to drag him under, but it was a struggle. They finally managed to get him under when Lafayette got hold of his ankles and they all returned to the surface laughing, splashing each other.

"You guys can't just team up on a boy." Hercules said, shaking head, splashing them all in turn. 

"Enough, my boys, enough. We mustn't get in trouble." Lafayette scolded, noticing a parents staring at them, unamused. 

They quieted down, looking between each other awkwardly.

"So, uh. You guys want to see how far the amusment park is?" John asked, trying to break the silence. The others agreed, pulling themselves out of the pool, and heading out. 

______

 

They walked the boardwalk shirtless, not bothering putting them back on, but the day was getting late and clouds were gathering overhead again, cooling the day down.

Alexander pointed out different attractions, a small place advertising a "coffin ride", whatever that could mean, as well as an interactive scary story theater. They passed "Ripley's Believe It or Not", Lafayette promising they'd come back to it later when John whined about wanting to see the two headed turtle exhibit advertised. 

_____

They arrived in front of the Steel Pier, a ferris wheel looming near the edge of the pier visible from where they stood. John had offered this as an option when on the bus still, describing it the best he could, but standing in front of it put into perspective how movie-esque the place was to Alexander. He'd seen things like this on TV, he'd never expected to be standing with a group of friends in front of a amusement park literally built on a pier. They looked amongst each other and rushed in. The rides were packed, but waiting in line just meant talking in excited tones amongst themselves.

"Do you see that?" John asked, pointing to a pair of tall pillars reaching into the air.

"Yeah?" Alexander asked, gazing up at it. 

"That's called the Slingshot." John grinned, screams echoing abruptly as a sphere with two people sat in it was shot into the air. Alexander took a step back.

"Holy shit."

"I've always been too scared to go on it. I think I might, today, if you'll go with me." John said, smile bright, and Alexander nodded before he knew what he was doing. Lafayette and Hercules watched the ball. 

"You are fucking nuts." Hercules sighed, clapping a hand on Alexander's shoulder. "Hey, Laf? Go on that crazy giant thing with me?"

"Oui! Yes, please!" Lafayette said, mouth gaping, and hopping in place excitedly.

"Thank you." Alexander grinned and Hercules just smiled back.

"Supportive of my boys, always, man. No matter how dumb." 

_____

 

They stood in line for tickets, the ones for the Slingshot special, twenty dollars for it alone and more if you wanted a video of your ride. Then they stood in line waiting for the ride itself. It was a long wait but on some level Alexander was thankful for that, talking with the others calming his nerves.

When they reached the front Lafayette insisted he and Hercules go first, to Hercules dismay. They moved forward and were buckled in. 

"If I die," Hercules said, pointing to John and Alex. "Tell John's dad to suck at least three dicks."  
And they were launched, Hercules letting out a scream, Lafayette laughing hysterically. 

John almost double over, laughing and clapping, only straightening up to watch the two bounce in the air, the glorified bungie cords giving them ability to spin wildly. 

"I can't believe they did that." John laughed, shaking his head, Hercules complaining at how slow it was for the ball to be lowered again. 

"I can't believe we're going to do this." Alexander said, swallowing.

"Nervous?"

"Terrified. Hold my hand?" Alexander dared ask, casting a smirk at the other, and John didn't hesitate to grab his. 

When the ball was finally fully landed, Hercules wasted no time getting unstrapped and running over to the John and Alexander, picking John up and hopping himself, swearing.

"That's so fucking wild, man! Holy shit. I survived, oh my god." He cheered, laughing, and Lafayette came over with a bounce in his step as well.

"Our turn." John said, Hercules letting him go when they were ushered forward. 

Alexander felt his legs shake just a bit as he made his way over to be seated. John grabbed his hand again. Once strapped in, though, they both just held on to their harness handles for dear life. Hercules and Lafayette both gave double thumbs up. 

"Ready?" Alexander asked, turning his head the little bit he could. 

"Nope. You?"

"To die, maybe."

A ride attendant counted down, Alexander tensing up in his seat, letting out a string of curses when they unexpectedly were realeased on two instead of one. They both shouted, Alexander finding a laugh bubbling out as adrenaline kicked in. He could see all the hotels, the sea surging, people littering the boardwalk and beach, and then they were back between the two poles, tipping and spinning upside down to right side up randomly, calming down and both he and John breaking into whooping laughter.

"It's amazing, Alex!" John shouted and Alexander nodded. 

"I feel like I saw the entire world for a second." Alexander laughed. They were lowered slowly, and one out of their seats bounded over into the open arms of the other boys. 

 

________

 

They spent almost an hour in the arcade aside the pier, trying to win tickets, cashing them in for a two basket balls and a couple small stuffed animals when they finished. 

They went back out to the pier, the sun getting low, deciding to spend the rest of their ride tickets on the ferris wheel. The lights on the rides went on just before it was their turn to get on one of the carriages. 

They were quiet, tired from the day, as they reached the top of the ride, Lafayette continuing his all day habit of taking shots of everything. 

At night seagulls flocked in droves towards the hotels, high over the boardwalk but so numerous it was unmistakable to tell there were many, even from the wheel. The tide was rising, most people off the beach now, sea shimmering and endless when Alexander looked at the horizon.

He didn't make a fuss like he might normally when he saw Lafayette take a picture of him and John. He wanted to remember this. He reached out, offering wordlessly to take a picture of Hercules and Lafayette, and the camera was handed over. Once he got a picture he liked, when the two had both thought he was done and went back to gazing off at the world liked he'd been, he handed the camera back. 

"This was one of the best days of my life." Alexander said, breaking the silence. He was tempted to throw some joke in, laugh it off when they looked at him, but he saw John nod then.

"Me too. It was . . . I'm really glad to be here with you guys." He agreed quietly, his hands were on the handle bar, besides Alexander's, and his pinky stretched to intertwine with the other's.

"Yeah. Me too." Hercules smiled, a small one, not like his usual one that made the rest of his face turn up in joy.

"Love you all, my dearest boys." Lafayette added, nodding. They shared smiles, all small ones. 

There was something sad about living a moment you could feel from its start will be one you'll never quite have again, one that you'll one day have nostalgic longing for.

______

They went to a Hard Rock café on the boardwalk to eat dinner, talking over food and laughing, before finally heading back to the hotel. 

 

_____

 

It was early, still, and they all set to charging their phones and changing amd showering. When settled, sand and sea and sweat scent gone, they cuddled in on the bed not built for four, watching TV. Once they settled it was too comfortable, too warm, too safe, too long of a day for them to not fall asleep embracing one another easily and early. 

____________

It was three AM when Alexander woke up to the sound of thunder. It wasn't so bad, not since moving to the city, but storms at best left Alexander uneasy and at worst panicked, since the hurricane. With the glass doors of the balcony Alexander could see the lightning striking over the sea, eliminating the rough waves, and could hear ever rumble of thunder or roar of wind. Memories of death and fear crept in, and he felt panic swell in his chest. Turning away, hiding his face in Lafayette's shirt, did nothing to help, every thunder clap sending a jolt through him. 

He rushed to the bathroom, breathing heavy, suppressing a sob, and he closed himself in the dark, curling up in the tub. It felt like the entire world had sat itself on his chest, his hands and teeth clenched, trying to remind himself he wasn't going to die. He wasn't any less aware that this was irrational than he'd be normally, it was just too heavy right then for that to make him feel any better.

It wasn't long later a knock sounded, and Alexander didn't reply, not trusting himself to, so Lafayette came in. He saw Alexander shaking, sobbing, and he rushed to close the door.

"My Dearest thing, are you afraid?" Lafayette asked, voice soft.

He didn't wait for reply, crawling into the tub to face Alexander, knees bumping as he sat. His hands found, despite the dark, Alex's closed fists. He soothed soft caresses into the skin, urging Alexander to open his hand, and when he did Lafayette held them. He didn't even flinch when the other boy's grasp became vice like at the sound of another thunder rumble.

"When I first came to America I was five. We rode a ship, and out at sea we hit a storm that nearly sunk us. It took me years to be able to stand storms or the sea again. I was even a bit nervous when we first got here, so I told you all I was excited. We do silly things when we're afraid, I suppose. You didn't have to bare this alone, Alexander, and you won't now. Do you need anything?"

"Don't-" Alexander gasped, hands tightening on the other's, and Lafayette hushed him softly.

"Okay. I won't go anywhere. I'm right here. I'm safe, you're safe, I promise. I know you know, but I still promise. I need you to breathe with me though, Love, can you do that?"

Alexander nodded, finally able to look up. There was a small night light installed by the hotel, lighting up the room just barely enough for Alexander to see the other boy's shape. 

"I'm going to count to seven in French and you're going to breathe in until I switch and count to five in English, and while I count in English you breathe out, okay?"

"Okay." Alexander agreed in a whisper, heaving breaths making his voice sound hoarse.

"Inspirer. Un, deux, trois, quatre,  
cinq, six, sept. Exhale. One, two, three, four, five." Lafayette instructed and Alexander payed full attention to his words, letting them drown out the sound of the storm. They repeated the exercise several times, Alexander relaxing more with each. 

There was a knock, and Lafayette looked at Alexander for approval before calling for whoever was on the other side to come in. Hercules and John gazed in with concern before John made the move to go kneel besides where Alexander sat, running his fingers throught the other boy's hair. 

"The storm?" John asked, voice quiet, and Alexander nodded.

"It was worse before. Lafayette calmed me down. I- There's some stuff I should tell you guys." And so Alexandre did, explaining from the beginning about his family and going to New York and where he was staying and how Hercules had helped him.

"Mon amour, Alex, you could've told us. Why didn't you?" Lafayette asked, voice pained, sounding too sad to stand.

"I'd just met you all and I didn't- I don't- want pity. I want friend who are my friends because they like me. Not because they feel bad."

"We don't pity you, Alex, but we do like you so we do hate that you've been through so much when all you deserve is to be happy." John spoke up, hand still soothing Alexander's hair. He felt like he might cry again, swallowing a lump in his throat he didn't know how to express how thankful he was.

"I love you guys. Thank you." Alexander whispered and ubruptly found himself the center of a group hug.

_____

The storm didn't take long to pass, replaced by just gentle rain, and with the curtains closed tight the four settled back into bed, Alexander squeezed between John and Hercules now, Lafayette's long arm draped over John to rest on his shoulder. He held tight to his boys. He never had much, so what he was given he held tight to. This time when they fell asleep Alexander didn't wake until morning.


	3. Fathers and Schools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vacation ends on a sour note and new faces are introduced as high school in New York city begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! Sorry this chapter is so late. I've been getting back into the swing of classes and it's been a bit rough, but I will try to update more regularly. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Warning for Henry Laurens being his abusive asshole self. Comments are endlessly appreciated.

When Alexander woke up that morning, wrapped in a tangle of limps, feeling a little suffocated but secure, it was dead quiet. He’d always been the type to survive on just a few hours of sleep, and to go to bed early meant to wake up early. The sun was just starting to rise over the horizon and the light peaking in through the balcony door was soft and pink. To unwrap himself from his friends right now, to try to remove himself from the way he’d draped himself over John in his sleep or how Hercules had somehow pulled him so close into his chest, would be both a struggle and was something he wasn’t quite ready to do. He just laid in the quiet, for a bit. Soon, though, Alexander was overcome by his innate need to feel busy, to be moving, and so he did he best not to wake the others as he awkwardly maneuvered himself out of bed. 

He’d had it on his mind for awhile, and so in realizing there was no notepad anywhere in the room, he pulled up a note app on his phone and went out to the balcony to write. 

_____________________________

It was nearly two hours later when Hercules woke up, going out to see Alexander lounging in the, now higher, sun. He was still tapping out paragraphs on his phone. 

“What are you doing? It’s only nine, Alex.”

“I know. I just couldn’t lay around and I can never get back to bed after I wake up. I was the terror of nap time when I was little. I’m writing an essay.” 

“An essay? We’re literally on vacation on summer vacation. You’re literally across the street from a beach? There’s free breakfast downstairs? You could be doing anything.” 

“I know. But I didn’t want to be wondering around on my own, and I like writing. Plus, this topic is important to me.” 

“Yeah? Alright, tell me about it.” Hercules sat down with him, smiling encouragingly. 

“Well, ah, I was just thinking about the orientation, about what the principle said? And it’s still pissing me off. I told you about how I fought with the school board about the placement testing, and I won then by being relentless, so I figured-”

“You should be relentless about this too.” 

“Yeah. Is it a bad idea?” Alexander asked, letting his guard down a moment. With all his strengths and pride, insecurity was as big a part of him as it was any younger teenager still trying to find themselves. 

“Nah, man. It’s an important one. You do what you need to, you fight for what you believe, and we’ll be right there with you. Principle Seabury needs to be brought down a notch or two anyway. Tear this dude apart. We’ve got you.” Hercules assured, clapping his hand on Alexander’s shoulder. “But, can you do so more later? I think I want to wake up our boys to get breakfast and start the day. It’s going to be a good one.” 

Alexander laughed.  
“Go for it.” 

___________________________

Once everyone had finally gotten up, dressed, and they’d gotten their breakfast, the day was a blur of playing in the waves, going through the souvenir shops, visiting different boardwalk attractions. John even got to see his two headed turtle exhibit in Ripley’s, Alexander winning him a stuffed one to mark the occasion in a claw machine on their way out. Lafayette had insisted on doing the coffin ride and haunted theater. 

“Don’t worry, Herc. I’ll protect you.” He teased, throwing his arm around the other, and Hercules rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not afraid. It’s not even about ghosts so much as it is about the Jersey Devil.” And yet, Alexander noticed every hair on the boy’s arm was on end.

___________________________

After roaming all day, constantly on their feet, the four made a stop at the beach at sunset. It had cleared out a lot, most other tourists going to get dinner or heading into the casinos, and there was such a distance between where they plopped down in the sand and where everyone else was that it felt isolated. It was a beautiful sunset, sky a mix of pastel colors, reflecting off the waves. Alexander laid back, and with the hotels and casinos there was too much light pollution to properly see the stars, but even as the sun was sinking completely the night was warm and clear. Lafayette was snapping pictures of everything. 

“Let’s sleep out here tonight.” John proposed, laying back to join Alexander. Hercules and Lafayette followed suit, Lafayette laying on Hercules' chest.

“As nice as that sounds, I’d prefer not to get murdered in my sleep.” Lafayette sighed, sounding a bit put out about his own efforts of self preservation. 

“New proposal, then. Let’s just move here and get our own private beach.” John amended and the others nodded or hummed in agreement, settling into quiet. Then John’s phone rang and his eyes went wide. “Shit. Well, I guess I didn’t even expect it to last this long.” 

“What? What’s going on?” Alexander asked, seeing the worry come over the other’s faces. John just pressed a finger to his lips, sitting up and answering the call. The instant yelling coming from the speaker could be heard from where Alexander sat, John flinching like he’d been hit when it roared into his ears. Lafayette hid his head in Hercules chest, seeming distraught, while Hercules’ hands closed into fists as if he were resisting taking the phone and smashing it. 

“Da- I know. Three nights. Ye- No, Dad, they didn’t tell me- Dad- No! Yes it was one room, no we-” John’s voice raised just a bit toward the end, but otherwise was startlingly calm. “Tomorrow? But we have all three- Fine. I’m sorry, you’re right. Wha-? I said I was sorr- Yes I am! Please, Dad, just- I promise- No! It’s not their fault! They didn’t know I didn’t tell you! I- Yes, Sir. The morning bus.” And then the line was quiet.

“John-” 

“I’m sorry. We’ve got to go tomorrow, in the morning- I know we wanted to stay longer but- I’m sorry.” John said, stiff as a board where he sat. The calm facade was shaky, now, along with his voice and in realizing he might cry Alexander moved to hug him from the side. The other two followed suit. 

“It’s okay, John. It’s not your fault. We shouldn’t have-” 

”No- I mean, I’m the one who proposed the trip and planned everything to begin with, right? It’s my fault- I shouldn’t have- My dad isn’t going to let me out the rest of the summer. Hell, I don’t know if he’ll ever let me out again. I’m lucky if I don’t get sent to boarding school for this.”

“Stop, John. Don’t over think this. He won’t send you away, the asshole is too obsessed with his reputation, and he’s never home to enforce it even if he does ground you. We planned this too. We’re all at fault.” Hercules soothed.

Alexander didn’t know what to do, what to say. He’d heard about how John’s father could be, but never from John himself, and never from Henry himself. Anger was normal, Alexander supposed, for one’s child sneaking off to another state with his friends without adult supervision, but the excessive name calling and accusations against not only John but all of them was overstepping. It was abusive and cruel beyond anything that could be rational. 

“What all did he say, our darling boy?” Lafayette prompted, moving to make a small circle, sitting across from John. Alexander just held him, hoping it would help, somehow.

“He told me that I fucked up, asked me about the sleeping arrangement, about how long we planned to stay, asked if you guy had put me up to this, and told me we have to come home.” John summarized, but there was so much missing from it, from what Alexander had heard.

“Sleeping arrangement? John, what did he say?” Alexander pushed, furrowing his eyebrows, anger bubbling in his stomach.

“He knows- assumes- Herc and Laf aren’t straight. He doesn’t know if I am, but the idea I’m not pisses him off and- He asked about you and whether we’d all shared the bed and-” John’s voice was struggling not to falter in his throat, to not turn into gasps for air as his breathing became a little erratic. 

He wasn’t crying yet, no tears falling, but he was somewhere between taking and sobbing. Alexander pulled him closer, hushing him. It struck Alexander he didn’t know for sure John’s sexuality, and though the flirting was enough he’d assumed it was not straight, nobody talked about it the way they joked among themselves about all the rest of their sexualities. This would explain why is wasn’t an easy conversation topic. 

“Is he going to hurt you over this?” Lafayette asked, voice cold, eyes flaming in anger. It was even more frightening than Alexander had found his anger in the taxi the day before. 

“I don’t- He won’t. He won’t. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay-” John tried to assure, but he sounded so uncertain Alexander felt himself shaking, hate boiling in his abdomen. 

“If he lays a fucking hand on you-” Hercules began, body tense, like he wanted to hit something as badly as Alexander did. 

“He won’t.” John tried again, but he was crying now, and as angry as the three may have been it wasn’t the time. They surrounded him with arms, hugging him tightly, soothing him with whispers and hushing his sobs. Hercule’s insisting on giving him a piggy back ride up to their room when they decided to turn in, John’s entire frame still shaking. He looked, to Alexander’s absolute rage, terrified. No father, no parent, should ever make their child so afraid. 

“Can we sleep on the floor tonight?” John asked, and Alexander’s stomach lurched at the thought Henry had actually got to his son that badly. They all agreed, as not to upset him further, but it was acutely uncomfortable as John curled in on himself, as far away from the others as he could seem to stand. 

The other three were close to each other, but didn’t dare beckon John over or try to move closer, scared they’d make him uncomfortable.

An hour later John was the only one asleep, exhausted from crying and worrying.

“Is his dad going to do anything to him? Has he before?” Alexander asked, whispering to the other two. 

“Honestly? We don’t know. He always denies it, promises if it ever got to that he’d tell someone, but then he’ll have weeks at a time he won’t change his shirt in front of us and we’re never sure if he’s hiding bruises or if his dad gave him another homophobic lecture.” Hercules admitted and it made Alexander want to yell, to throw stuff, to get John as far away from the man as he could.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” 

“We’ve gone to the school, a few times, but John’s dad has a lot of power and money and until John says something himself they’re not going to touch this with a ten foot pole.” Lafayette whispered, every bit as angry as the other too. Every bit as scared for John. 

“What about Children and Youth?” Alexander proposed but the other two just shook their head. 

“I talked to Washington about it a few years ago, he got them to do an investigation, but there are no clear signs of neglect or abuse, no evidence we can provide. John won’t say a word about it to them. Henry Laurens is good at covering for himself.” Hercules said, spitting the man’s name like it tasted bad in his mouth. They all fell into quiet, each trying to find anything else to say, any other solution to offer. Nobody could come up with a single thing. 

_______________

In the morning everyone woke up to an alarm John had set on his phone, and things were quiet and tense as they packed and got ready. Everyone was taking showers, having not done so the night before, and Hercules and Lafayette had casually decided to share to spare time. Normally, Alexander and John would be joking about it, laughing about what they were up to, but today it didn’t fit. John sat on the edge of the bed, Alexander on the floor besides it. 

“If you need anything, please, call me or come over or I’ll come over there.” Alexander said, trying to keep his tone light.

“I’ll be fine, Alex. He’s my father, not some monster.” 

“Yeah, well, hearing how he talked to you last night I don’t know if there’s much of a difference there. Being worried, even being angry over this, I get that, but he had no right to talk to you like that. Why are you defending him?” 

“He and my siblings are all I’ve got, Alex. He’s all they have. He’s not always like this, and it’s not like this with my brothers and sisters. He’s just- I know what he was saying, accusing, about you and Laf and Herc isn’t okay, not even close to it, but- He’s still my dad.” 

“I’ve never thought I’d have a moment where I was a little glad I don’t have parents.” Alexander said, laughing dryly. “Promise me, please, you’ll tell us if things get too bad.” 

“I promise.” John sighed, but Alexander didn’t know if he believed it. “I’m- I promise I’m not avoiding you guys, avoiding touching like we usually do, because of what he said about any of you- It’s just me. I guess.” 

Alexander went to ask what he meant, but before he could Hercules and Lafayette left the bathroom and John hurried in. 

 

Alexander contemplated it for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. “Do you know what John would’ve meant, saying that he’s the reason he’s avoiding being close to us?” 

“Ah, that. Just- John is obviously not homophobic, he’s passionate about equality, in every form there is. He helped write all the essays proposing the idea of that sexuality and gender identity club I told you about, and he can’t even be in it or sign his name to the work he did for it because of his dad. He’d never be an asshole to someone who wasn’t straight, but he’s so scared of himself. I’m not going to guess his identity because he’s not talked about it openly, but I know whatever it is it scares him.” Hercules explained, eyes closed like it was hard to say. 

“I’m going to kick his father's ass.” Alexander said, and it was a promise.

_________________

Alexander didn’t lean on John on the bus trip home, and John didn’t talk much, headphones in, Biggy blasting. When they arrived at the bus station, back in the city, Henry Laurens was waiting for John, George having agreed to pick the others up if they called when they arrived. 

“Please, I know you guys hate him, but don’t talk to him. Don’t make it worse than it’s already going to be.” John pleaded before they got off the bus, voice lowered. Nobody protested, but none of them agreed. They got their stuff and Henry waited impassively at his car. 

“I’ll talk to you guys online tonight if I can. I really did have fun, while it lasted. Thank you.” John rushed the whisper, giving a half smile towards his friends, before going off to his father. They watched, Alexander biting his tongue hard enough he tasted blood when Henry sneered and grabbed John by the arm, whispering something with a harshness on his face that looked verging on violent. He threw his son’s arm down with force, going to get in the drivers seat, waiting for John to get in the passengers side. He drove off faster than he should have.

“We need to get him out of there.” Lafayette said, and Alexander felt himself jolt to realize the older boy was crying. Hercules seemed to be just as surprised, putting his arm over the other’s shoulder. 

“We will. We’ll figure something out.” 

But none of them could imagine what. Alexander called George and when he arrived they all packed in the backseat. 

___________

That night the three waited on their group chat, hoping to get some sign John was okay, but it didn’t come. He didn’t get in contact with them for a full two weeks, and outside Hercules lurking around his house and seeing the lights go on and off in John’s room, they had no way of knowing how John was, other than home and alive.

It was driving Alexander mad. He spent the time writing, frantically, not leaving a moment unoccupied or he’d go over and personally knock the door in and find out exactly how John was. He’d written two essays on the schools dress code policies, one on their transfer student policy, and, after interviewing and finding out about every instant like this he could from his friends, one thirty page overview of everything he knew of Henry Lauren’s abuse.

When John finally got in contact it was simply, “I’m at the park.” at one in the morning.

He was sitting on the swings when Alexander showed up, and he couldn’t help but rush towards John, practically knocking him backwards off the swing with a hug. John laughed, letting him fall back and Alexander held himself over the other.

“Are you okay? Fuck, John, we were so worried.” Alexander said, looking the other over. 

“I’m alright. He yelled at me, for days, but he didn’t lay a hand on me. He took my computer and phone, but because school is starting next week he gave them back. I’m not supposed to be out, but he’s got an overnight trip and he’s not going to be calling the house to check I’m there right now. I figured it was the best time. I was just going to tell you guys over Skype but I needed to see my boys.” John said, smiling up at Alexander, and Alexander smiled back, leaning down to hug the other. Lafayette was the second one to arrive, not asking about it but simply diving to join the hug, landing on top of Alexander and then rolling off to lay next to John. Hercules, when he showed up, stood over the cuddle pile, crossing his arms and smiling. 

“I’m not laying on the ground. Get up here so I can hug you and make sure you’re alright, John Laurens.” He said, and they all moved to accommodate this. Hercules held on to the younger boy fiercely tight when they hugged. “Tell me you’re okay, Kiddo. Promise me.” 

And John did, retelling the other two what had happened.

“He doesn’t want me near you guys at school this year, but he never does, so fuck that.” John said, shrugging and they all laughed, moving to hug him again. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Lafayette sighed, pressing his lips to John’s cheek. John grinned, blushing.

“Stop fussing over me, I’m fine. Tell me what you guys have been up to.” 

And so they did, sat on the swings and talking early into the morning before they all had to head home before anyone noticed they were gone. John promised to text, that he’d see them the next week, and it was like a weight had been lifted.

When Alexander arrived back at home, George was already awake and making himself breakfast. 

“You’re out late. Or early, I guess. You know, there is a curfew around here.” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I know. John finally was able to talk to us and meet up for a little, though.” Alexander said, ducking his head a bit. He’d kept George updated with everything that had happened. 

“Is he okay?” George asked, casually setting out a second plate for Alexander, adding another egg to the pan, adding more toast to the toaster. 

“He’s alright. He promised his dad didn’t hurt him, and I’m hoping he’s telling the truth.” 

“I hate that man. If it would’ve been anyone but him that boy would’ve been out of his house years ago. He makes me sick.” George said, shaking his head bitterly.

“Me too. You don’t have to make me breakfast.” 

“Did I say it was for you?” George asked, face unreadable, as he filled both plates. 

“No, sorry, I-” 

“Just eat your breakfast, Alexander.” He said, rolling his eyes and smiling finally, handing the boy the plate, and going over to sit at a little booth by the window. He patted the space next to him when Alexander just stood there for a moment. 

“Thanks.” 

“It’s no big deal. Believe it or not, Alexander, some people actually cook and eat three meals a day. What have you been working on?” George asked, expression somehow gentle and scolding at the same time. In the two weeks since they’d come back, Alexander had ate only one meal at least seven of the fourteen days. He’d forgotten to eat the others, wrapped up in his self imposed work. 

“Essays, for things I care about. It’s- there are a lot of issues with the school’s policies, and I wrote some stuff just to keep on hand for our great Mr. Laurens.” 

“You’re going to be one hell of a lawyer, Alexander. If there comes a time when you can use what you wrote, if I can I want to help out, however I can.” George said, looking pensively out the window. “No kid should be stuck in a home like that.” 

“Agreed.” 

“School is starting, soon. Do you have everything you need?” 

“I’m going to go out and get a bunch of the sales stuff with Hercules and Lafayette on Wednesday, so I should be good. I’ve got to look into getting a part time job soon, but I’ll get what I need for school.” 

“I think I might be able to help with that part time job. Running this place isn’t a huge effort, but I’m looking into working on a part time bases as a social worker for foster care, and I’m not going to be able to keep up with the paperwork and letters I need to write around here. It wouldn’t be a huge paycheck, but-” 

“I’ll do it.”

George chuckled, shaking his head. “Thank you, Alexander.” 

 

__________

School started quicker than Alexander was prepared for, a bit pumped to be getting on track to the things he wanted to do, but feeling a bit unnerved to be starting at a new school. Having friends did, though, undoubtedly help. 

Hercules picked both Alexander and Lafayette the first day, heading to nice, average, brick building high school. 

They had to go through metal detectors on the way in, had to have their bags checked, had to stand middle aged white security guards acting as if their middle and upper middle class school was some real deal hood just because the majority of students weren’t white. It wasn’t a big deal, really, because the metal detectors and bag checks didn’t bother Alexander as safety provisions, but the way these men and woman looked at him like he was dangerous did. 

Not even to mention the looks they gave to Lafayette’s casual protest of the gender stereotyped dress code, enjoying his tank top crop top and short-shorts. 

Nobody could, or did, dare to send him to the office. He enjoyed all clothes, marketed towards anyone, and would happily wear whatever he felt like on day to day bases. His closest was the most extraordinarily fashionable and unique thing Alexander had ever seen. Him wearing these clothes to school had gotten him sent to the office a total of three times, and after the third casual proposal he’d let his lawyer deal with the details of his case they’d given up. By all written regulations, the dress code against these articles only applied to people who identified and were recognized as female. 

“Do I have gum in my teeth or something or are these guys just looking at me like that because I’m so damn pretty.” Alexander asked, flashing a grin at every adult they walked by. 

“You’re just too gorgeous, Alex.” Lafayette sigh, as if to say there could be nothing done about the draw to his wonderful features. 

“I’m not around for a week and you two are flirting? I see how much I was missed.” John huffed, coming up behind them and throwing an arm around Lafayette and Alexander. All of them took turns hugging John, laughing. 

“Don’t worry, my dearest, he is merely my side boy.” Lafayette teased and Alexander gasped in betrayal. 

“Excuse all you, but I’m fairly sure I’m the main. For all of you.” Hercules threw in and Alexander nodded.

“That’s true.” John relented.

“Fair enough.” Lafayette agreed. 

The looks they got did not stop. 

___________

Comparing schedules, Alexander had only his English class in the morning alone. With a split semester, they had four eighty minute classes a day and a lunch. The lunch was shared among all of them, biology was with John, a psychology elective with the Lafayette and John, and algebra with John. 

They split up when class was nearly beginning, Alexander heading to the second floor in search of his English classroom, losing his way a bit in the hallways, and ending up taking a corner too quickly and physically knocking into another person and sending them both to the floor. 

“Oh, shit, sorry. You okay?” He asked, scrambling to his feet to try to offer her a hand, but almost instantly another girl was beside her and helping her up, swatting Alexander’s hand away. When she stood, the girl he’d knocked into was blushing vividly. 

“I’m fine. Angelica, pull your claws in, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” She assured, turning to the other girl. 

“Neither was I, and I’m really sorry. I’m a bit lost, I can’t find my English class.” Alexander said, smiling as charmingly as he could manage, and Angelica looked him over with hooded eyes. Both of them were strikingly beautiful, and Alexander couldn’t help but feel terribly intimidated, if not a little interested. 

“My name’s Angelica Schuyler.” She finally let the hint of a smile appear at the corner of her lips. 

“Alexander Hamilton.”

“This is my sister, Eliza.” Angelica introduced, and Eliza reached out for a handshake, still a bit flushed, but smiling. “Where’s Peggy?” Angelica asked, suddenly, spinning around in search. 

“Oh!” Eliza startled, apparently just realizing the other wasn’t accompanying them anymore. “I’m not sure where that one always ends up going off to. I’ll go look. Maybe you can help Alexander find the class. I’ll meet you guys there.” Eliza excused, smiling, and Alexander caught her hand. 

“I’m so sorry, again, but I’m glad to have met you, despite the circumstance.” He assured, and he was delighted that her smile only grew before she rushed off. 

“Are you going to flirt with my sweet innocent little sister the whole of class? Because I was thinking of sitting by you to be sure you don’t manage to knock someone else down, but if you’ll be at this all day that will have to be out of the question.” Angelica asked, crossing her arms and smirking when he looked back at her. 

“You guys have English now?” 

“All three of us. Come on, Lost Boy. Let’s get you to class before all the good seats are taken.” She casually linked her arm though his as they walked and he returned her smirk.

“I promise not to flirt with your sister all of class if you promise to not keep this flirting up, I won’t be able to focus.” 

“Please. Flirting isn’t my style. Haven’t you ever had a conversation before, Love?” 

“I’m afraid not, I’ve never spoke to a single person before in my life.” 

“Ah, well, then we’re headed to the perfect class for you. You know, if I hadn’t saw you standing up and yelling with us about that bullshit at the orientation, I’d not be wasting my time. You’re a flirt, Alexander Hamilton. What else are you that I should even bother?” Angelica challenged, grinning, pegging him down immediately and taking jabs without hesitation. Alexander could swoon. 

“I’m a bisexual, biracial, bastard, orphan, liberal, loudmouth writer and future lawyer.” He summed up, shrugging. “And I’m not a flirt. Have you considered maybe I’m just not easily satisfied? What about you, Angelica Schuyler?”

“Are you asking if I’m satisfied or asking what all I am?” 

“Both.” 

“Hm. You and I have very similar beliefs. But you can have beliefs and not stick to them, and you can have a background that doesn’t define you. I don’t think this conversation will do much to tell us much about each other. I suppose we’ll just have to be friends and keep each other’s company on occasion. When you’re not too busy flirting with Eliza, that is. Make good on it, if you persist. She’s already enamored.” 

“I suppose we’ll see.” 

“I suppose we will.” 

And then they were arriving at their English classroom, Angelica casually dropping Alexander’s arm. They sat together in the front, but Angelica left a space between them and one on the other side of her reserved for Eliza and Peggy. When they arrived Angelica motioned Eliza to sit between herself and Alexander.

“Eliza, could you help me a moment? I’m not really sure where anything is. Could you help me make a little map for rest of my classes with me?” Alexander asked, and Eliza lit up.

“Sure. Here, give me your notebook. So, this is where we are, right?-”

Angelica looked at the two and sighed. Her sister didn’t have a chance, so she didn’t have a chance. Peggy was watching this all with an eyebrow up. 

__________

“So, are you going to ask out both of my sisters, or are you going to make up your mind?” Peggy asked, casually, walking with Alexander to the biology class they apparently shared.

“What? Who said I was interested in either?” Alexander asked, but he kept his tone light, knowing he was caught. 

“Your pretty little puppy dog eyes. The worst part is they’re both as endeared. Do you normally meet people and being charming and charmed so quickly?” 

“I’m beginning to feel there is a conspiracy of everyone in this school to underhandedly call me a flirt before the day is out.” Alexander laughed and Peggy nodded.

“It’s a goal. I saw you with your friends this morning. A little cozy with them too, aren’t you?”

“They’re my lovers.” 

“I suspected as much.” 

“To dispute your further argument of me being a flirt, I’m not flirting now, this feels more like you making fun of me.” Alexander pointed out and Peggy smiled.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what this is, but I mean it in a friendly way.” 

“Are we friends now?” 

“Would you like to be?” 

“Immensely.” 

“Then not at all. Mortal enemies, in fact.” Peggy teased and put an arm around Alexander. 

“I feel this is the beginning of a beautiful animosity.”

__________

Between introducing the Schuylers to his boys, figuring out the layout of the building, and enjoying the introduction of his classes, the day went fast from then out. Aaron, Alexander discovered, was in his psychology class. He was quiet, but despite Lafayette’s protests, accepted when Alexander offered for him to sit with them. 

_____________

When the day was finished, Alexander added the Schuylers and Aaron on all his social media, talking in a group chat with the former and his boys about a plan to overthrow the dress code policy. 

If making friends you can throw protests with on the first day at a new school was a level of success, Alexander would rate it at the top.


	4. Fall Follies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebellion! Romance? Angst!  
> Or, another super late chapter that has a lot going on.  
> George Washington is a rebel, Charles Lee is an asshole, Eliza is an angel, Alexander is???? Peggy has a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I've not given up on this fic, and will not, but the updates will be irregular because college and who I am as a person. Please comment and such, it means the world to hear from you guys. Please feel free to talk to me.

It was a weekend when there was a knock at the house’s door. Alexander stared at his from his perch at the bottom of the stair, eyebrows furrowing. Nobody tended to visit, anyone coming or going usually just those who lived in the house, and he was a bit perplexed. The sound came again and he sat his laptop he’d been writing on aside, peeking out of the small windows on either side of the door, but it did nothing to quell his confusion as he opened it. 

“Aaron Burr?” 

“Alexander?”

 

The two stared at each other, both caught off guard. Then, despite himself, Alexander couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m guessing you’re not visiting me, then. Are you looking for George?” 

Aaron seemed only more confused. “I honestly wasn’t even aware you were staying here. I wanted to talk to Mr. Washington, yes. Is he in?” 

“He’s not, actually. Grocery run. Do you want me to leave a message- Or you could come in?” Alexander asked, not really sure what to say. 

“I- Sure. Actually, you may be able to help me a bit, to avoid embarrassing myself.” 

Alexander rose and eyebrow, but stepped aside, motioning for Aaron to come in. The other boy stepped inside, but didn’t seem sure of what to do with himself after doing so. Alexander walked over and resumed his place on the stairs, patting the spot next to him. Aaron obliged.

“What are you working on?” Aaron asked, seeing the open document on Alexander’s computer.

“Ah! Well, me and the crew are planning something for next week, a little, uh, protest, I suppose. We’ve got things planned out, but we’re probably going to get into some trouble, and I’m taking care of the aftermath if we do.” Alexander explained and Aaron sighed.

“You’ve got to be careful, Alex. This school may have a lot of issues in policy, and I won’t deny that, but they’ve also got a lot of power. I don’t know- and don’t want to, to be clear,- what you’re all planning but I’ve overheard some of it in psychology. If I have, so have others. I’d be cautious of that. Be sure your defense is good. Be sure that anyone who shouldn’t be caught isn’t.” 

“What do you mean, who shouldn’t be caught?” Alexander asked, somewhere between annoyance at the hesitation the other showed, despite clearly having his own issues with the school, and the strangest need to have Aaron’s advice. 

“Well, from what I’ve heard, John Lauren’s father is making moves in politics back in South Carolina. He’s all but been living in between states, and it seems as though he’s likely within maybe three years of seeking position. I’d even guess senator. Something tells me the scandal of having his son arrive to school in a dress wouldn’t exactly do well for him.” Aaron explained, voice a bit quieter. Alexander gawked. How did Aaron know this when even John didn’t seem aware? 

“I keep my ear to the ground, Alexander. You’re not the only ones with ambition.” Aaron added, seeing the look on Alexander’s face. “But, I don’t know everything. Like whether or not Mr. Washington has filled the intern position he was seeking help for.” 

“What? Intern- I didn’t know he was actually advertising for the position.” Alexander realized, surprise making his eyes go wide. He’d gotten a job he didn’t even know was a real job. Aaron seemed to pick up on what he meant. 

“He’s quite notable in the city, philanthropist, former mayor, lieutenant colonel in the army incredibly young. He was in line for governor. I don’t doubt he’d of only gone upward from there, even. Yet he chose to step away and get educated in social service. He’s still got a lot of quiet pull, influence over some important politics of the city. It holds a lot of advantage to work for him. From your tone, I’m expecting that’s something you’ll be finding out.” Aaron explained, voice level, but he seemed irritated to Alexander.

“I didn’t know any of that. Is that bad? I’ve got to learn more about this city and stuff going on around me. I’m sorry. I didn’t even know it was an official position when he offered it.” 

“You don’t need to apologize, Alex.” Aaron sighed, going to stand, but Alexander reached out to stop him.

“Why don’t you hang around awhile. I know you don’t want to be involved, but I have a feeling just talking to you long enough will give me a little bit better of an idea what I’m up against.” Alexander offered, and Aaron looked at him skeptically. 

“You’re fully aware I’m not going to allow myself to be complicit in an overthrow of the school’s dress code, regardless of any opinions I may or may not have on the misogyny of the thing?” 

“Absolutely.” Alexander agreed, nodding.

“Then please lead way to somewhere more comfortable. These stairs are a bigger pain in my ass than I know you’re going to be.” 

Alexander grinned.

 

_____________________  
Spending time with Aaron was interesting, a totally different experience than the atmosphere of his other friendships, more subdued and not quite as comfortable, but a different kind of compatibility in how they opposed each other was clear. Talking of the city and of politics and of policies with someone presenting them too neutral to hold a debate with or plan rebellion with gave new perspective.

When he gathered with his boys and his Schuylers the day after, for the first time inviting them to George’s house, he had a slew of new ideas in his head. 

They were sat in the living room of the house, Alexander sat on the couch, Hercules across from him in an arm chair Lafayette had elected to sit on the arm of, Angelica and Eliza on either side of him while John sat at his feet, Peggy besides John on the floor, leaning on Angelica.

“This house is so comfortable. I want to move in.” Lafayette lemented, looking around the room as if in awe. 

“Don’t you live in a mini mansion?” John asked, casting the other boy a look.

“As do you, my dearest Laurens, but tell me you’d not enjoy the warmth of this place?” Lafayette challenged, and John smiled, raising his hands in defeat.

“True enough. It would be nice to stay here.” John admitted, and Alexander swallowed when he felt his heart race. There was something about that that made Alexander feel far less insecure about staying in the boarding house, mind instead occupied by the idea of John staying under the same roof. 

And, abruptly, Alexander realized the obvious. He had a crush.

Was it normal to have a crush on a friend? Probably, he surmised, but he felt his stomach sink, looking between the girls sitting on either side of him, not catching what Angelica said when she began leading the meeting. 

Was it normal to have a crush on more than one friend?

“Alexander, are you listening?” Angelica demanded, looking a bit amused at his spaced out look before he snapped into the moment. He hoped beyond hope the distress in his head wasn’t shown on his face as he attempted a smirk.

“No, sorry, I got distracted by how much more lovely this room looks with so many pretty people in it.”

Angelica rolled her eyes while Eliza laughed, hitting his arm. 

“Oh, but Alexander, are you not terribly distracted then even here alone? I mean, the additions must do wonders, but how on Earth then do you not get distracted by your own beauty occupying a room?” Peggy fawned, sarcastically, head tilted back to look at him. The room roared with laughter. 

“Truly, Alex, how do you manage?” Hercules threw in.

“It’s a marvel you’re literally incapable of comprehending what brief means when it’s a wonder you’re able to write at all.” Eliza teased, paging through the fifteen page fully cited essay describing why what they were planning was not a punishable offense Alexander had written up. He looked over her, affronted. 

“Hey! It’s as brief as I could get it.” 

“You’ve got three paragraphs within the first page that is just literally a personal callout on Seabury.” Eliza pointed out, circling them with a finger, and Alexander was stuck with the fact she’d actually read it. 

“It’s needed.” 

“It’s going to get you in trouble.” A new voice sounded, and the room fell quiet. George stood in the doorway. 

Alex blushed, sitting up straighter and rambled, “I- Are we being too loud? I’m sorry, it just seemed like the best place to meet, if you want us to-”. George said nothing of it, though, just walking to the couch.

“Elizabeth Schuyler, isn’t it? I’ve met your father. He talks about you three all the time. May I see that?” George requested, stepping into the room, taking the essay when Eliza handed them to him. Hercules got up wordlessly, pulling Lafayette, who’d elected to stare at the man, by his wrist and moved to sit with Peggy and John on the floor. George went over and took the now vacant seat, looking commanding even in the casual outfit and comfortable room. He paged through the essay quietly. “For those I’ve not been formally introduced to, I’m George Washington.” 

John was sat against Alexander’s legs, and his hand was nervously toying at the edge of Alexander’s pant leg. Eliza was stiff at his side, sitting up straighter, but Angelica looked curious. Hercules looked at ease, knowing the man better than most in the room. Lafayette’s stare was intrigued, moving forward in his seat, blinking rapidly like he were trying to be sure he was awake. Peggy was just smiling, watching everyone react. 

 

“If you’re going to do this, you need more than a way to get out of trouble. Getting into trouble in the first place is the best way of eliminating chance to do it again. Giving them this? It gives them a full and detailed list of all the policies they have to make and repeal to ensure student protests on this scale are punishable. When do you plan to do this?” George asked, looking between Angelica and Alexander.

The plan was for Wednesday, but we’ve got information that news might’ve gotten out about it, and we were going to pick a new day today. Maybe Friday.” Angelica supplied, and George let a small smile appear on his face.

“If you’re going to plan a rebellion,” He began, standing, putting the essay aside, going to a bookshelf in the corner of the room and finding a book on warfare and a notebook with a pen inside. “You’ve got to do it right. Have you all ever heard of masquerade balls? ” 

___________________

The story would go down in history. 

It was lunchtime when the fire alarm was pulled, but the students had barely made it out the doors before there were unidentifiable masked figures running back through the doors in matching red, white, and blue dresses, exposed skin painted with phrases like, “Female targeting dress codes ignore trans identities”, “Female targeting dress codes encourage victim blaming in cases of harassment” and “Teachers shouldn’t be looking here anyway.”. While those in dresses ran through the crowds, gathering the attention of the teachers, two people in the crowd quietly allowed dozens of flyers on the issue to fall from their bags without notice, which students began to pick up, spread, even throw into the air. While the masked students were chased back into the school building, three new ones arrived, moving into the building and hanging posters on the ever inch of wall they could manage before being spotted. 

All six of the masked figures made it away without being identified, nobody in the crowd was able to pinpoint the two students who’d dumped the flyers, and in the chaos nobody had been able to say who had or hadn’t been in the crowd. By the time organization was found, the entire group was back in the crowd.

When the story made the news, and an anonymous source submitted a cell phone clip of Seabury’s speech at the orientation, the media quickly called into question the ethics of the dress code. The newspaper ran four anonymously submitted stories on the issue. 

Alexander felt the strangest kind of pride when recalling to the group that he’d only submitted three.

It was a month and two more legally organized student protests later when the dress code was proposed for revision by the school board.

_____________

Alexander had never seen the table so full, never had felt so comfortable at it, than the night the revision was proposed and all his friends were invited to a celebratory dinner at the house.

“To George Washington, our secret leader!” Lafayette toasted, raising a glass of plain orange juice toward the sky. The teens cheered, raising their glasses, making the man laugh. 

“I’m no such thing. You all did this together. To the rebels who gave me reason to assist!” He proposed instead, and this sent the others into further cheers. 

“To Alexander Hamilton, for uniting us all.” John said, and again they rose their glasses, repeating his name, making him blush in his chair.

 

_________________

 

The LGBT+ club was starting later into the semester than most other clubs, but when it did, it launched with a bang. 

Of Alexander Hamilton punching a wall.

“Who the fuck decided fucking Charles Lee was a good candidate for senior supervisor?” 

“I wish I could’ve been there. What happened?” John asked, sitting on the edge of a desk, the two snuck off to a deserted classroom at lunch the next day. Alexander plopped down in the chair of the desk, examining his red knuckles. His shirt was a bright blend of pink, purple, and blue, reading, “Fly, Bi, and Ready to Fight”. 

John wasn’t able to join the club with his father on his back, so he was the only one of the group not to know what happened.

“The fucker- Lafayette was so close to punching him. So was I. But it’s scary with Lafayette. You know Angelica was going to- Hercules even got up. When I walked in the smug little shit goes, “Oh! You’re that boy staying with Washington, right? It’s no surprise there, that you’d show up, then, there have been rumors that mans a-” That fucker. Aaron Burr was there, and he pulled the shit out of the room and he ran off before Aaron could get him to the office. Lee is so fucking lucky. Using that word in a safe space, saying that shit about a man who has done nothing but-” 

“I know, Alex. I know. You went to the office, right?” John comforted. 

“Yeah, and the coward got suspended, but that’s all they say they’re able to do if there was no victim in the room. Apparently hate speech isn’t qualified as bullying by the district unless it’s directed at another student. Peggy tried to argue I was targeted, but they blew it off.” 

“That’s bullshit.” John agreed, fuming, but more quietly. 

“I told George about it and he won’t let me do shit. He just keeps telling me to let it go, and after everything I can’t just ignore him. But I hate this. Lee and I have been arguing on twitter all night.” Alexander huffed and John couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Well,” He shrugged. “If you can’t fight the fucker, I guess it’s up to me.” 

Alexander, when he launched himself forward to hug John, actually managed to lift him off his feet.

_____________

Charles Lee had already acquired a black eye when George had happened by the park the fight was happening in. 

“What are you doing?! John! Step away! Now!” George shouted, rushing over, moving to separate the teenagers. Aaron was sitting on the short brick wall of the park, watching, there as something between a mediator and what Lee insisted on calling his second. He stepped forward, helping Lee up from the ground. 

“Fine! I’m satisfied.” John spat, glaring at Lee as he moved away. 

“I’ll take care of his eye. This is the end of this, the furthest it goes. You both agreed to fight, you both hit each other. Nobody takes this to anyone else.” Aaron said, so utterly calm it annoyed Alexander, who’d stepped forward to examine John for injury, smiling at the other boy. 

“Thank you. Lee, I assure, I’d have never allowed this if I knew it was to happen.” George said, nodding, watching the two go off before rounding on John and Alexander. 

_____________

“You cannot, I repeat, cannot be getting John Laurens into trouble to defend my name. I don’t need defending, Alexander. I am a grown man who is completely comfortable in my identity, an ignorant teenage boy using ugly slurs isn’t going to invalidate who I am!” George shouted, pacing in the kitchen. John was sat in the living room, an ice pack on his knuckles.

“It’s not only about you! He may have said that referring to you, but in that room nearly everyone got hit by it! If you just let me take care of it-”

“No! What he did, what he said? That was enough violence in the situation! Punching him, allowing your friend to, does nothing, son!” 

“It makes a point! I’m notcha son!” Alexander shouted back.

“It gets you hurt! You have a future, you have a chance at doing something, you and John both! You don’t screw that up by hitting every bigot you can reach! You take out your pen and you write like you always do because that’s how you have power, Son!” 

“Call me son again!” Alexander shouted, standing from the table, facing off with the taller man. 

There was tense quiet. Alexander was shaking. 

“You’re not my dad. I don’t know if you got the message, but I’m here because I don’t have one of those. I’m not looking for one. You don’t get to- You’re not my fucking dad!”

“I know.” George relented, swallowing, voice quieter. “And you don’t have to stay here. But if you do, I’m not letting you throw away the chance you have. One day the whole world is going to have it’s eyes on you. A boy who puts his friend at risk by allowing a fight that friend is already fighting every day at home isn’t who they oughta see, Alex.”

Alexander stared, and mouth too dry to swallow his pride, turned and marched out of the house without saying a word to John.

________________

“Alexander?” Eliza asked, furrowing her eyebrows when she answered the door. He reached out a hand. 

“Come take a walk with me? I need to blow off some steam.” 

“I- Okay.” She said, biting her lip, stepping out the doorway and taking his hand. 

They walked in quiet for a block, hands still intertwined. 

“Do you think I’m selfish?” He asked and Eliza squeezed his hand.

“I don’t. I think you give everything you can in the way you can.” 

Alexander laughed, tilting his head back, shaking his head. “Lee and I got in an argument on Twitter yesterday over if being bi is selfish. And today I acted really selfish. And right now I’m being selfish.” 

“Alex,” Eliza paused, tugging Alexander’s hand to make him stop walking. “Hasn’t Peggy or Angelica told you?” 

“What?”  
“I’m bisexual. Do me a favor? Don’t equate your mistakes with your sexuality, ever. You’re allowed to make mistakes, learn from them. You’re not selfish.” Eliza lectured, and Alexander stared.

“I’m sorry.”

“Make it up to me by taking me to a movie Friday.” She shrugged, and Alexander smiled. 

“It’s a date.” 

_______

When Alexander and Eliza told their friends they were dating a week later on Hercules roof, Peggy hit Alexander in the arm. Angelica laughed, shaking her head.

“I knew this would happen.” 

“Who didn’t?” Hercules shrugged, braiding Peggy’s hair. 

“I didn’t.” John said, looking at the couple with a strange expression he quickly covered with a smile. “But I’m glad.” 

Alexander swallowed. He didn’t know, for sure, but something in him whispered that it shouldn’t have hurt. 

_________

As Eliza and Alexander’s relationship grew, Alexander felt himself feel restless. Something was heavy in his chest, sitting with his friends, having her hand in his. He cared about her, dearly so, deeply so. He knew few girls more kind or trusting or lovely. 

Yet as perfect as he found her, everything felt wrong.

He pushed it aside, endlessly so. He pushed it aside. Then John was holding hands with and introducing them to a beautiful girl named Martha. And it was fine. 

Even though it wasn’t.

___________

It was approaching Halloween, two months of the school year nearly gone. Fall was in full swing. 

Alexander's phone buzzed in his hands, sitting on his bed and scrolling through his Facebook, completely and totally not three years back and staring at a freckled boy’s embarrassing young random stage. Totally. Absolutely not happening.

He was getting a call from Peggy, which was a surprise, normally talking over text or in person. He picked up with a little hesitation, a bit worried this was some kind of magic that made Peggy somehow know he was Facebook stalking John. 

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hey Pegs. What's up?"

"Could you come to the park? I sorta need to talk to you."

Alexander raised an eyebrow.

"Am I in trouble?" He joked, trying to judge the other's mood.

"No, well probably, but not with me. I just need someone to talk to." The voice on the other side of the phone was a bit shaky, and Alexander felt a little worried. Peggy had insecurities, but never sounded scared to talk to him before.

"Be there in a few minutes." He said and there was a sigh of relief. Why would he be expected to say no? 

"Thank you. I'm over by the swings."

"Kay. See you soon." He said, hanging up. He threw on shoes and decided to rush his pace a bit, not wanting to keep the other waiting.  
__________________

It wasn't a long walk from the house to the playground and he saw Peggy sitting on a swing near the back of the grounds, waving as he made his way over. He sat in the swing next to the one occupied and smiled.

"Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah. I think? I don't know. This is weird, I'm sorry." 

"No, hey, what's going on?"

"Just- can you keep a secret? I didn't know who to talk to, I'm not really ready to tell my sisters yet and-"

"Whatever it is, it's between you and me. I promise." Alexander cut in and they exchanged a small smile.

"You know how, uh, I'm called a girl?" Peggy asked, looking down, feet messing in the wood chips underfoot.

"Uh . . . yeah? I guess?"

"Well . . . I'm not really sure about that anymore. I mean, I've never really been, I guess. It's just with finally having people besides my sisters to talk to about . . . everything, I finally got the courage to consider it and look into it." Peggy blinked hard, as if trying not to cry.

"Why do you sound so scared? I love you, your friends, your family, will all love you no matter how you identify. Do you want me to use different pronouns? A different name?" Alexander asked, softly, moving from the swing to sit in front of Peggy's on the ground. 

"I- Alexander, I love you. Peggy is okay, um, not Margaret but nobody calls me that anyway. I'm still figuring it out, but I think they and them pronouns would be nice. I'm just- I'm not ready to tell Angelica and Eliza yet." They said, a waiver in their voice, blinking hard to fight back tears.

"You don't have to. I won't. But you know they'll accept you, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know, I just think I need to understand myself a bit more, figure things out more, before I'm really ready. And God, then there's my dad. I have no idea how I'm going to tell him."

"You take all the time you need, Peggy. You can do this at your own pace, when you feel ready and secure in your identity. Your dad loves you, and it might be hard for him to get used to, but you're still his child. I know that's not enough for every parent to keep being a good parent but your dad accepted Eliza when she told him she was bi, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He did. I'm just- he's always been so prideful of his Schuyler girls, you know? His daughters."

"He'll be proud of having you no matter what gender or lack thereof you are, because who you are as a person." Alexander assured, taking their hands. 

"I'm so afraid. This is so-" They said, closing their eyes and tilting their head back to the sky, struggling to find a word.

"Hard?" 

"Different. I've always known, on some level, that I don't really feel like a girl, but I never had a problem with feminine things and it's so common and accepted for girls to like masculine things, so liking both and feeling like neither didn't seem like a big thing. And I may get a little weird about my chest sometimes when I want to present more masculine but I've never had any huge body dysmorphia. It just- I read about trans kids and I never feel, I don't know, trans enough? And I think I'm agender but I like to present some days as more feminine and sometimes as more masculine. It's so- fuck."

"Being comfortable presenting in line with this society's traditional gender roles, not being dysmorphic, and still being in the process of figuring out who you are doesn't make your identity any less valid, Peggy. A boy can wear a fuck ton of makeup, heels, and a dress but if he says he's a boy that means he's a boy. Look at Laf. he loves dressing in traditionally feminine ways because clothes are clothes and he wears what he's comfortable in. Identities aren't defined by clothing or body type, your identity isn't defined by clothing or body type, it's defined by you and it's valid and good and fine. Do you want help getting anything? You said about your chest, do you want me to order you a binder and keep it at my place until you're ready to talk to your family?" Alexander asked, gentle, and Peggy let themself cry finally, dropping down to kneel with Alexander and throwing their arms around him, burying their head in the crook of his neck. 

He held them, letting them cry, nearly crying himself.

"I got you, Pegs. No matter what. I'm here."  
And they sat like that a long time, holding each other, until Peggy's breathing finally slowed and they nodded, swallowing hard. 

"Love you, Alexander."

"Love you too."

"How do you make coming out seem so easy? I know it's a different thing, but the way you walk around making jokes about your own sexuality and wearing pride stuff- Even knowing you'd support me because I know you, it's so hard."

"I don't know. It used to be, I used to be so afraid. I never told my best friend when I was back in Puerto Rico, I knew, but I was so scared. His dad had taken me in and I didn't want to, you know, risk that. I think the first time I actually came out was in my essay for my scholarship. If I remember right I described myself as a, and don't quote me on this,"Bisexual, biracial, bastard, orphan, mess who just needs one shot."." He explained, and Peggy's body shook with restrained laughter. He chuckled too.

"And I got accepted. With everything else I am, with everything else people can look at me and see and judge me on, I think it just got easy to not care what people think."

"You act like you don't care what people think, but you literally will write a five page essay disputing a rude Facebook comment." Peggy reminded, and Alexander laughed, pulling away from them so the two could face each other. He rubbed the run makeup off their cheeks with his thumbs. 

"Same thing. It's not easy, really, I guess, but it's easier than waiting until people find out. They can't use it against you if everyone knows, you know? And it's ten different levels of terrifying and empowering to look some homophobic asshole in the eye and tell them who you are and pretend not to be afraid. It just gets a bit tedious when life feels like a continuous coming out. Having to awkwardly shake my head when strangers in check out lines ask if I have a crush on a girl, feeling the need to correct them that it's a boy, but, no, I'm not gay, is a bit much. Telling off rude homophobic cab drivers because no, not all boys who like boys are feminine but so fucking what if they are. It can be more than I want to deal with some days, but I make the choice to because it's a part of my identity I want to be proud of, a part of me I'm allowed to be proud of, and in me that pride manifests in yelling it in school hallways like I'm not scared shitless. Pride doesn't have to be loud, and you don't have to put yourself in danger or discomfort to love yourself and be proud, though. You can tell who you want, when you want, and sometimes it'll get easier and sometimes it won't, but you owe this world no part of yourself." Alexander explained, voice strained a bit, repressing tears of his own because venting about this wasn't something he'd done before. 

"I'm so proud of you." Peggy said, softly, their smile so warm it made Alexander feel like there was nothing in the world that could give him a chill ever again.

"And I'm so proud of you." He returned, sincerely as Peggy had been. It was a beautiful day, so they both moved back to the swings and rocked back and forth there, watching and enjoying it. 

"I'll give you the money, Alex, but if you don't mind a binder really does sound like it would be nice to try." Peggy said, timidly, a bit late. Alexander nodded. 

"See if you can find one you'd like and send me a link whenever you're ready and I'll get it."

"Thank you. I'll look online tonight and see if I can find something." 

"Alright." He nodded, reaching out and offering his hand. They took it with a smile. 

“Can I tell you a secret now?” 

“Yeah.” Peggy agreed, nodding. 

Alexander wanted to explain everything he felt. How he always found himself unsatisfied, even at his happiest, even at his most adoring of their sister. How seeing John hold Martha’s hand made him feel sick. How he’d been so sure that if Angelica had been the one to open the door after John’s fight he’d have ended up with her by now. How he couldn’t talk to George anymore, apologize for the fight, because he was so sure the implication that he was selfish was correct. How much he missed Summer already. 

Instead he smiled, shrugged, and said, "I think we’re really bad enemies.”.


	5. His Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short look into John's side of the current situation Alex is experiencing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Hey! So, I went back through and edited a few things in the story that I felt needed to be changed up a bit. Some of this was written in the very early stages of the fandom, and it had some obvious effects on the tropes of this story that make me a bit uncomfortable now. I tried to make it a little less heavy handed at parts. The majority of it is unchanged, and won't have any big effects on the plot, so unless you really want to then it's not necessary to go back and reread everything.
> 
> At any rate, this story hasn't been updated in ages and I know that and am sorry, but I've had a pretty insane writters block along with school stress. It's not abandoned. As of October 2016 I'm going to be working on the next chapter. It may take awhile, but it'll be updated. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you guys enjoy.

John was staring, mouth agape, eyebrow furrowed. He should say something, shouldn’t he? Alexander had just told him that he and Eliza were dating. Everyone was saying something, doing something, but John was just staring. He blinked, swallowed the dry lump in his throat, and nodded. Alexander was looking at him, he’d been, since he’d said it. 

“I knew this would happen.” Angelica said. She was laughing. Everyone was smiling. 

“Who didn’t?” Hercules shrugged, braiding Peggy’s hair.

“I didn’t.” He said, it slipping out without him meaning it too. He smiled, or tried to. Why was it hard to smile? It shouldn’t be hard to smile. “But I’m glad.”

Alexander’s face went odd, looking like he was just hit in the stomach. 

John looked away, reaching over and taking one of the flat beers Hercules had stolen from his parents. It was less bitter than the taste of his own words in his mouth, and he downed it in one go. Hercules looked startled, shaking his head when John reached for another. Angelica was looking at him. Nobody else noticed. Hercules’ braiding distracted Peggy, Peggy talking distracted Eliza and Alexander. Lafayette was scrolling through Hercules’ phone, apparently in distress at finding Hercules didn’t have a single Beyonce track. 

“We really should go.” Peggy said, pouting, looking at Eliza to object but the other just nodded, sighing. 

“We should, it’s getting late.” 

“I’ll walk you guys home. Angelica?” Alexander asked, taking Eliza’s hand as the two stood but Angelica shook her head. 

“Make sure those two get home. I’ll go in a bit.” She said, waving him off dismissively. “As much as your chivalry is kind, Alexander, I can handle myself.” 

And maybe it was just John who noticed that her smile was stiff.

They three got up, Peggy thanking Hercules for his hair skills with a hug, everyone hugging those who were leaving. 

When John stood to hug Alexander it was stiff, brief, strange. It hadn’t ever been strange before. Eliza was warm, gentle, smiling so consistently throughout the night that John felt himself jolt to see it fall a bit as he hesitated to open his arms for her. He compensated by pulling her close, arms tight around her. 

“I was just admiring that smile a second, ‘Liza. You look so happy. I’m so, so happy for you.” He whispered, and felt her return the hug just as tightly. It wasn’t automatic this time, didn’t slip out as something to fill his own silence. It was sincere. The lump in his throat was back.

Peggy hugged him, and he was relieved to find it didn’t feel different. It was the only thing that didn’t. 

When they left, and everyone sat again, Lafayette had taken Peggy’s space between Hercules’ spread legs leaning back on him.

“You really need new beer, my Hercules. Do your parents even drink? Or do they just buy it and leave it in your basement for weeks until it does flat and disappears and assume the other drank it?” Lafayette teased and Hercules laughed.

“I don’t know, but as soon as I’m twenty one I’m literally never touching beer again.”

“Please, you’re Irish, beer is a part of your blood.”

“Does that make yours that obnoxious wine your grandparents let me drink that one time you actually invited me over for dinner?” Hercules teased back, and John wanted to chime in. He wanted to make some Southern whiskey joke, but he just stared upward. It was too cloudy to see the stars. 

Angelica was quiet, and when she moved to sit beside him he was surprised. The movement caught the boys’ attention, and they looked over.

“Angelic Angelica, I’ve heard a rumor and I must have the full story.” Lafayette said, changing the topic.

“Oh, what’s that?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Did Burr, Aaron Burr, sincerely hit on you the first week of school?” 

John’s eyebrow rose without him meaning it to, confusion coloring his features as he tuned into the conversation, looking at Angelica who was on the verge of laughter. 

“Burr? Really?” He asked, despite himself. 

Angelica nodded, looking pained. “Well, it was at all of us, Eliza and Peggy too.”

“What? No! He didn’t actually?” Hercules gasped dramatically, leaning in. 

“He did. Honestly, though, the boy isn’t bad looking. Smart too.” Hercules, Lafayette, and John turned to each other and mocked gagging noises. “But he doesn’t say shit about shit he cares about. Having beliefs means nothing if you don’t stand for them. Not my type.” 

John realized, abruptly, exactly who her type was.

“Does that mean I have a shot?” Lafayette teased, winking, and Angelica laughed.

“Of course.” 

Hercules wrapped his arms around Lafayette, giving Angelica a mock glare.

“Stop encroaching on my boys. I need these. I require my harem of pretty boys to encircle and fawn over me.” 

“Oh, I am in woe. We cannot joke of romance right now.” Lafayette suddenly exclaimed, as if remembering something. Hercules smirked, leaning in and nipping at Lafayette’s neck.

“Who said I was talking of romance?” Hercules whispered, and John couldn’t help but laugh at the visible chills Lafayette got. 

“Well, considering the whole aromantic thing-” Angelica pointed out, laughing at the exchange.

“Hush, you menaces, I am allowed to my drama. I’m French. I must. I meant to segway perfectly to the topic of my woe.” Lafayette bemoaned, head falling back onto Hercules’ shoulder, sighing. 

“What is this terrible woe, Laf?” Hercules indulged, and Lafayette sat up again, looking around very seriously.

“I am in love.” He announced, and the others stared, openly confused.

“Do you mind expanding on that, Laf? With who?” John encouraged.

“There is a man. He is older, and handsome, and terribly well shaped. He is passionate about change and is caring. I must have him, but alas, it cannot be now.” 

“. . . Lafayette . . . Are you bitching because you have a crush on Mr. Washington?” Angelica asked, skeptically. 

Lafayette whipped his head over to look at her, shouting, “It is love!” 

Everyone, except the now pouting Lafayette, broke into fits of laughter. 

“I can’t believe you want to bang Alex’s pseudo-dad.” John gasped, but something twisted at him saying Alexander’s name, and he was reminded like being hit by a train of the night’s events. He was quiet, then. Even as Lafayette and Hercules began a playful argument over if it were within bro standards to bang another bro’s father figure. 

Angelica caught onto his quiet, though, meeting his eyes and nodding.

“John, be a southern gentleman and walk me home?” She asked, and he nodded.

“We’re going to head out.” John told the other boys and they looked up from their argument frowning, but nodded, getting to their feet.

Lafayette and Hercules’ hugs were long and warm and comforting but he felt the whole time like he wanted to escape. He didn’t know what was wrong, so he couldn’t let them know something was wrong. 

They crawled through the window they’d gotten to the roof through, going through the house quietly to not wake Hercules’ family. It was always warm in the house, always comfortable, but sometimes it felt lonely. John may have thought Hercules might live alone, if he’d not of met the boy’s parents a few times. They were caring, but the independence they trusted Hercules with left them seem more like roommates. 

When they reached the door, slipping out, going out to the sidewalk, Angelica caught John’s arm. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. He wanted to deny knowing what she meant, but she hadn’t specified why she asked, so she knew they both knew.

“I’m not sure. I don’t know why, but I’m not. Maybe I just feel alone, seeing them smile at each other like that.” He shrugged. It was cool out, Fall coming too quick. He saw his breath and he hoped Angelica wasn’t looking, for the weirdest moment wondering if she was if she’d be able to see the lie hanging in the air with it. “Are you okay?” 

She laughed, in the way she tended to when she didn’t really think something was funny. “I’ll be fine. I knew this would happen. I meant that. I just . . . I know it could’ve happened differently too, if I’d have been different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Alexander Hamilton is- he doesn’t know it yet, but Alex is someone more passionate than there are words for, for things beyond writing and fighting, and he is very capable at caring for many things. Sometimes all at once. He described himself to me the first time we met as hard to satisfy and he doesn’t understand why, but I think I do. My sister, when he figures it out, if he goes about it right and doesn’t fuck up in the meantime, will be the kind of person that will be happy to let him be who he is. I know I can’t be.”

John stared, a bit lost.

“John, Alex doesn’t care for a person at a time, he doesn’t care the way he does for my sister only for my sister. It doesn’t make him care for her less. It’s just who he is, but he doesn’t really get it yet. You can tell how I feel, but I could never act on it for two reasons.” Angelica explained, and some of the heaviness in John’s chest lightened. He shook it off, trying not to be too relieved. Why would he be relieved to know Alexander was polyamorous? He looked back to Angelica.

“What two reasons?” 

“Well, more two and half. For one, he’s dating my sister and no matter how things go when he figures himself out and no matter how much I believe that’s something she could accept and be happy with, it would be too weird. For another, I’m asexual. I’ve been struggling with that, for awhile, but I am and while I don’t think that’s something he’d reject me for, or pressure me because of, I know if it were more than he and I that I am not the best at sharing. I’d treat it more like a competition than a relationship, and I don’t know how far I’d press my limits to win.” She said, shrugging. 

“I wish I knew myself as well as you know yourself. And everyone and everything else. Honestly, it’s impressive.” John said and Angelica smiled, shaking her head.

“It’s the worse thing to ever happen. Knowing the limits of everything in your life the second you encounter them . . . It’s not fun. Ignorance is bliss, John Laurens.”

“Bliss is overrated. Pain me. All seeing Angelica, what the hell is wrong with me right now?” He asked and Angelica laughed.

“You have to figure that out on your own, John. In the meantime, though, I have a request I feel could relieve you some stress.” 

“Oh? If one of the others phrased something like that I’d be terribly concerned.” 

“I have a friend, Martha, who has parents who are pressuring her to meet a nice boy. She, however, doesn’t like boys. If she doesn’t get into a relationship, they’re going to get her one for her.” Angelica explained and John rose an eyebrow.

“You’re asking me to fake date your friend?” 

“Yeah. I figured, hearing what I have, that it may get someone off your back as well. But this has to stay between you and I, and of course Martha. She’s not out to many people.” 

John bit his lip, shrugging. 

“Yeah, sure. Okay.” He said, because really, what did he have to lose?

He startled when Angelica let go of his arm, having not realised they’d reached her home. He looked it over, smiling to look up and see Eliza and Peggy waving out a second floor window. 

“Thank you for walking me home.” Angelica smiled, laughing a little while waving back up at her siblings. 

He waved at them too, blowing a kiss Peggy pretended to catch, blowing one back. Eliza looked offended, tapping a finger to her cheek, so he sent another one that Eliza mimed grasping from the air with a smile. 

“Thank you.” He said in return to Angelica, turning back to her, and she opened her arms to hug him. It was a good hug, a good moment. They bid each other goodnight, waving once more at the two up in the window before heading home. The moon had found its way through the clouds, and even with a buzz settling in from his chugged beer, the walk home was pleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, sorry for late updates. Readers are so appreciated. Comments are my life force. Thank you for sticking with me if you are. Love you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, feel free to leave comments, they're incredibly encouraging. I will try to update fairly regularly but as a college student that will sometimes be hard, please forgive that. Main tumblr is littleredloki, Hamilton blog is justshutuphamilton. Feel free to come hand out with me.


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